Positive Moms

The Lowdown on our Intake

2012-02-13T10:08:00.000-08:00

As moms, we need energy to maintain the pace of our busy lives. The fuel that we put into our bodies makes a difference in not only our energy and stress levels, but it also our self-esteem and how we feel about ourselves and our bodies. There are a million diet plans circulating today. Are you low carb, no carb, South Beach, Atkins, or French Diet? Take your pick! Diet plans and weight loss programs abound. Still there are some non-negotiable basic truths concerning healthy eating. A healthy diet is generally considered to be:

· A balanced diet containing foods from all the food groups

· Low in saturated fats and refined sugar

· Rich in vitamins, minerals, and fiber

Now that’s not too complicated, is it? If it’s so simple, then why do you and I (and almost everyone else, for that matter) struggle to eat wisely? The truth is, we like food! We like delicious, tasty food—which often means food that is sugary, fried, fattening, and unhealthy. We also live fast-paced lives that leave us little time to cook, so we end up driving through or ordering out way too much. Some of us eat for reasons other than hunger. Some of us struggle with issues such as self-control. And some of us just love snacks!

Stop for a moment and think about your own situation. What keeps you from healthy eating? Which of the following statements apply to you:

· I enjoy eating, and I don’t seem to have the willpower to stop.

· I love the wrong types of foods.

· I eat for comfort when I’m down or lonely or stressed.

· I’m a habitual snacker.

· I don’t have time to eat right, so I eat a lot of fast food.

· I eat at restaurants frequently, and I end up eating large portions.

· I eat at restaurants frequently, and I make unhealthy menu choices.

· I’m hooked on sweets.

· I just don’t know which foods are good for me.

· I __________ (you fill in the blank).

We all have slightly different reasons for why we don’t eat well. A fad diet that works for millions of other women may not work for us, because we have our own personal motivations for eating the way we do. That’s why we need a new approach and a practical plan to change our habits.

If we want more permanent results, we need to make changes in our eating patterns that will last a lifetime. We didn’t form bad eating habits overnight, and it is highly unlikely that a quick fix will not solve all of our eating challenges. Changing our habits and the way we deal with food may take a little longer period of time, yet the time we put into establishing new eating patterns will be well worth it. Let’s establish healthy lifestyle choices, so we will have more strength and endurance and we will also be a positive example to our children as well. We certainly want to establish habits early on for our kids in order for them to eat and live in a healthy way for the rest of their lives.

Here are the seven principles which we can easily incorporate into our lives and establish new eating patterns with lovely results.

1. Eat smaller portions

2. Drink more water

3. Don’t eat late at night

4. Eat breakfast

5. Think before you eat

6. Snack smart

7. Use wisdom when eating out

Next week we will open up and talk about each of these positive lifestyle changes. This blog is an excerpt from my book A Positive Plan for Creating More Calm, Less Stress.

Relishing Family Relationships

2012-02-06T14:49:00.000-08:00

Our relationships with each other as family members are top priority, second only to our relationship with the Lord. It’s easy in the hustle bustle of our lives to become complacent about celebrating each other and the blessing of each family member. In the month of February as we think about love, let’s consider ways that we can deliberately show our love and appreciation to our kids. Here are a few ideas to consider:

Dates with Dad or Mom: Each birthday my dad took me out for a special dinner date, just him and me. I chose the restaurant. It was a great time to talk, practice manners, and feel special. Moms can take their sons out for a special evening as well. It doesn’t have to be expensive, even a picnic will do. Now and then we just need a date with our child to hear them and find out what’s really going on in their hearts.
Welcome Home: Whenever my kids went to camp or on a mission trip, I would decorate their room and door with signs to celebrate their return. They were simple and just said phrases like, “We missed you! We love you! Glad you are home.” Why not make your kids feel special now and then when they come home from a long day of school and extra activities? Now and then, make them their favorite dessert, smile and hug them when they walk in the door.
Notes and Emails: Write your kids often, even when they are young. Write them little notes and put them under their pillow, send them an email to let them know you are praying for them, put a note on their mirror with temporary wipe-off marker. Use wipe off boards and bulletin boards to convey messages as well as encouragement.
Surprise visits: When your kids are in elementary school, surprise them with a visit during their school lunch, bringing one of their favorite meals. Look for other opportunities they would enjoy a little surprise visit from you. If they usually ride the bus, surprise them and pick them up on occasion. As your kids are older you can do a surprise visit to their work just for a moment to say hello and let them know you are thinking about them.
Quality Play Time: Make sure your husband gets special time with the kids. Perhaps after dinner can be declared “Daddy Play time.” In my family growing up, we used to rough house and jump all over my dad. He’d pick us up and put us on his shoulders (watch out for ceiling fans) or hold our hands and swing us around. He would get on his hands and knees and allow us to climb all over him.

These ideas are from A Positive Plan for Creating More Fun, Less Whining.

You are Not Alone

2012-01-20T14:14:00.000-08:00

Do you feel alone sometimes? I believe as moms we all go through times when we think no one understands what our life is like. The good news is that God does know what our life is like. He is the God who sees all, and He is with us.

It may feel like God is far away when things go wrong and we become discouraged. But these can be the very times when our faith grows as we trust God and pour out our hearts toward him even when we don’t understand. I like what Sinclair Ferguson said, “Appearances can be deceptive. The fact that we cannot see what God is doing does not mean that he is doing nothing.”

One time when I was taking my mastiff to the vet, we met up with a beagle wearing a lamp shade. It wasn’t a real lampshade of course; it was one of those silly plastic collars that dogs have to wear so they won’t scratch something on their head. The beagle was miserable and I wasn’t sure how it was going to make it through the day, much less a week of wearing the lamp shade. The owner said to me, “If only my dog knew this is here to help her and protect her.” I thought to myself, how easy it is to doubt our master because we can’t understand why He is allowing something in our lives. Like the beagle, we can either fight against what God is doing in our lives, or trust the love of the master even when we can’t understand the process.

In the same way, I want to encourage you today, trust God’s care for you. You may not be able to see all the reasons why, but you can trust a God who loves you and sees your situation. He is with you. He has a good purpose and a kind intention for your life.

Teaching Your Kids about Compassion in the New Year

2012-01-09T10:43:00.000-08:00

Jesus said, “Give, and it will be given to you; good measure, pressed down, shaken together, and running over will be put into your bosom. For with the same measure that you use, it will be measured back to you.”[i]

Perhaps you have heard this passage used in a sermon concerning financial giving, but Jesus wasn’t talking about finances here. If we look at the context he was talking about love, mercy and forgiveness. As we pour the beautiful qualities of love and compassion out toward others, certainly we will receive a great joy in the process.

Now I’m not saying we should reach out in compassion only because it makes us feel good. I’m simply saying there is a blessing and a benefit to our reaching out, and it is important for our kids to taste and see it for themselves. As they experience the joy of touching others lives, their love for others grows. Certainly life looks a little different and we learn to be content with what we have when we are around those who are in need. Serving others changes our heart, our perspective and our way of interacting with others. The bottom line is we are acting out of obedience to Christ who encouraged us to give a cup of cold water to those in need.

What can you do? Begin by considering your own gifts and talents. If you enjoy cooking, look for opportunities to bring meals to others in need. As a family you can prepare the meal and deliver it together. If you enjoy singing, offer to visit a nursing home or an organization that needs to hear your uplifting music. If you love helping and cheering people on, then the Special Olympics or volunteering at a local school can be just the right thing for you and your family. Maybe your boys need the opportunity to help build a house or paint a room, so Habitat for Humanity may be the thing for you. Don’t just look for ways to do what you like, allow yourself to be stretched as well. Service often demands sacrifice and is not always easy or fun.

You may want to schedule a day once a month or once a quarter designated for service. Our lives tend to get too busy, so if we don’t schedule a service day on the calendar it may not happen. We all want to serve and we have good intentions of serving, but the key is to be deliberate about it and make it happen even if it is just once or twice a year. Perhaps there is an opportunity for a mission trip either here in the United States or abroad which you and your family could go on together.

Here’s a list of possible ways to serve:

Meals On Wheels www.mowaa.org

Ronald McDonald House: www.rmhc.com

Salvation Army: www.salvationarmyusa.org

Habitat for Humanity: www. Habitat.org

Special Olympics: www.specialolympics.org

Joni and Friends: www.joniandfriends.org

International Missions Board: www.imb.org

Adventures in Missions (AIM): www.adventures.org

Please don’t force your children to serve under obligation or duress. There is a happy balance between loving encouragement and forcing them to do acts of service. Pray for God’s direction and gently, lovingly stretch your kids to join you in service. Bring their friends along if it would help. Their friends will experience a blessing as well. As your kids get older allow them to choose the place they want to serve and go along with them. There’s no greater bond for a family than serving together.

This blog is an excerpt from my book: Defuse; A Positive Plan for More Love, Less Anger

[i] Luke 6:38,39 NKJV

Fresh Start

2012-01-01T19:23:00.001-08:00

Happy New Year! I hope you had a wonderful time with your kids during the holidays. I know it can be trying at times (trust me, you are not the only one who struggles with patience during the holidays), but it can also be a more relaxed time and an opportunity to just hang out and have fun together. Hopefully you enjoyed a bit of joy in the midst of the hustle and bustle of the season.

As we forge into 2012, we have the opportunity to consider a few habits we may want lay aside and some positive qualities we can work on in the new year. Hebrews 12:1, 2 reminds us, “Let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles. And let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us, fixing our eyes on Jesus, the pioneer and perfecter of faith. For the joy set before him he endured the cross, scorning its shame, and sat down at the right hand of the throne of God.”

Perhaps there are some fears or bitterness or worries that we need to take off our shoulders and lay at the feet of Jesus. Oh what freedom and joy we experience when we fix our eyes on Jesus! I pray that this year is a year of growth and blessing as you serve the Lord and reflect His love in your home.

What if He never Came...

2011-12-27T13:48:00.000-08:00

“His name shall be called Emmanuel . . . God with us.” (Matt. 1:23) .
“The Prince of Peace” (Isa. 9:6).
“There’s a song in the air!
There’s a star in the sky!
There’s a mother’s deep prayer,
And a baby’s low cry!
And the star rains its fire
While the beautiful sing,
For the manger of Bethlehem cradles a King.”
A few years ago a striking Christmas card was published, with the title, “If Christ had not come.” It was founded upon our Saviour’s words, “If I had not come.” The card represented a clergyman falling into a short sleep in his study on Christmas morning and dreaming of a world into which Jesus had never come.
In his dream he found himself looking through his home, but there were no little stockings in the chimney corner, no Christmas bells or wreaths of holly, and no Christ to comfort, gladden and save. He walked out on the public street, but there was no church with its spire pointing to Heaven. He came back and sat down in his library, but every book about the Saviour had disappeared.
A ring at the doorbell, and a messenger asked him to visit a poor dying mother. He hastened with, the weeping child and as he reached the home he sat down and said, “I have something here that will comfort you.” He opened his Bible to look for a familiar promise, but it ended at Malachi, and there was no gospel and no promise of hope and salvation, and he could only bow his head and weep with her in bitter despair.
Two days afterward he stood beside her coffin and conducted the funeral service, but there was no message of consolation, no word of a glorious resurrection, no open Heaven, but only “dust to dust, ashes to ashes,” and one long eternal farewell. He realized at length that “He had not come,” and burst into tears and bitter weeping in his sorrowful dream.
Suddenly he woke with a start, and a great shout of joy and praise burst from his lips as he heard his choir singing in his church close by:
“O come, all ye faithful, joyful and triumphant,
O come ye, O come ye to Bethlehem;
Come and behold Him, born the King of Angels,
O come let us adore Him, Christ, the Lord.”
Let us be glad and rejoice today, because “He has come.” And let us remember the annunciation of the angel, “Behold I bring you good tidings of great joy, which shall be to all people, for unto you is born this day in the city of David a Saviour, which is Christ the Lord.” (Luke 2:10, 11).
“He comes to make His blessing flow, Far as the curse is found.”
May our hearts go out to the people in heathen lands who have no blessed Christmas day. “Go your way, eat the fat, drink the sweet, and SEND PORTIONS TO THEM
FOR WHOM NOTHING IS PREPARED.” (Neh. 8:10).

Reprinted from Streams in My Dessert, by L. B. Cowman 1925

Holiday Refocus

2011-12-21T08:05:00.000-08:00

“When the outlook is dark, And the in-look’s discouraging, Just try the up-look; It’s always encouraging.” From Wise words and Quotes, by Vern McLellan

How many times have you heard the all too familiar questions from the back seat of the car - “Are we there yet?” “How much longer ‘til we get there?”

Every road trip has its ups and downs, twists and turns, but the joy comes when we reach our destination. In the Bible we are reminded to keep their eyes on what is to come, not on their momentary troubles. It’s a message for us as well. God wants us to understand that the road trip here on earth may have some troubles along the way, but the challenges produce for us an immeasurably great eternal glory.

In our homes, we must keep the big picture in mind. It’s easy to let the little things agitate us and get us down. We need Paul’s reminder to take our eyes off the little, light, momentary troubles and place our focus on what is really important. Instead of focusing on our discomfort, pain or challenges, let’s change our focus to look with hope at what God can and will do. Don’t give up and don’t lose heart, as Paul says. Our spirits are being renewed each day.

Just as our kids must trust us as we drive them to their destination, we must trust our Heavenly Father, knowing He has a perfect plan for our life. Let’s replace our grumbling with anticipation, our whining with hope. Our positive attitude makes for a much more delightful ride!

II Corinthians 4:16 - 18

That is why we never give up. Though our bodies are dying, our spirits are being renewed every day. For our present troubles are quite small and won’t last very long. Yet they produce for us an immeasurably great glory that will last forever! So we don’t look at the troubles we can see right now; rather, we look forward to what we have not yet seen. For the troubles we see will soon be over, but the joys to come will last forever.

Moms Prayer:

Wonderful Lord, I praise you for having a perfect plan for my life. Thank you for that you are with me each step of this journey. Help me to keep my eyes off of momentary troubles and discomforts and instead keep my eyes on you and the eternal glory that awaits us. Renew me with your Spirit day by day and help me to never give up, but rather persevere with hope. In Jesus Name, Amen.

“Troubles are tools by which God fashions us for better things.” Henry Ward Beecher

My Choices:

This week I will choose to take my eyes off my troubles.

This week I will choose to focus on the bigger, more eternal picture.

This week I will choose to place my hope in the Lord, and His plan for my life.

This week I will choose to: __________________

Creative Family Christmas

2011-12-09T12:28:00.000-08:00

It’s always fun to hear what other people do to make the Holidays memorable and special for their own families. Here are a few things we have done over the years in celebrating Christmas. I present them to you as Ideas that you can use as well. The most important thing is to enjoy your time together as a family. Don’t get so caught up in what needs to be done that you miss the joy of the season and being together. Here are some Ladd thoughts:

Caroling - Whether it’s in your neighborhood or at a local nursing home, you can give the gift of Christmas joy to others by organizing a group of carolers. Consider inviting neighborhood or church kids over for a Caroling party. Serve hot chocolate and cookies while you practice a few carols together, then venture out and bless others with your singing. In our neighborhood, we gathered kids together with one mom who could play the guitar. We journeyed to each house on our street. The joy that we brought our neighbors gave us each a blessing as well. Not to mention the fact that we all grew closer to one another as we sang together.

Gingerbread House - Graham crackers, cake icing, candy canes and gum drops is all you need to create an afternoon full of fun and a memorable activity. We buy the kits that have all of the essentials in one box. Making a gingerbread house offers you a blessed family time together and the opportunity to use your creative energy. You may even consider having a contest with another family or within yours. Be sure to take a picture so you can look back over the years of houses and memories.

Theme Trees - Each year we decorate a small tree in our kitchen with a new and unique theme. As a family we begin thinking about the theme in early November and collecting items here and there for the tree. One year during the Beanie Baby craze we had a Beanie Baby tree filled with the beanie toys of all sizes and colored lights. One year we did an American Tree, another year a Cowboy Christmas. There was a New York tree (after a Thanksgiving trip to New York) and a candy cane tree and an angel theme one year. We have fun preparing and decorating, and our guests always enjoy seeing what we do each year.

Christmas Eve Chili and Tamales - Every Christmas eve we open our doors to family and friends after the Christmas Eve church service. We serve tamales and chili and enjoy warm fellowship. It’s easy to do and we never know who we will have. I’m not sure why this has become a tradition except that it is nice to have a southwest meal before the traditional turkey dinner. We always serve Chili Con Carne (chili with meat). Once I heard a pastor say that Chili Con Carne on Christmas Eve reminds us of God Con Carne (God with flesh), Jesus.

Green Eggs and Ham

6 eggs

3/4 cup milk

Green food coloring

Ham slices

Beat eggs and milk until well blended. Add several drops of green food coloring. Pour into pan over medium heat. Scramble eggs until preferred texture. Serve with Ham slices. This red and green breakfast has become a Christmas morning tradition at our home every year.

Creative Generosity

2011-12-02T15:29:00.000-08:00

Tis the season! Yes, it is the season for giving, which means it is also the season for spending. Sadly, with our current economic challenges our budgets may be a little tighter this year than in years past. The good news is we can still teach our kids to be generous this holiday season even if they don't have a lot of money to spend. Let's help our kids understand some of the following opportunities for generosity as we employ these qualities in our own lives as well.

The gift of kindness. It’s remarkable to observe the strength we give others through our smile, or listening ear, or encouraging word. These acts of kindness cost so little, and yet their value is long lasting. Each person around you represents an opportunity to demonstrate kindness. What about the overworked waitress who could use a good word or a sincere compliment? How about your co-worker who needs a little help and encouragement? Don’t forget the frazzled cashier who needs a smile and an extra dose of patience. Kindness comes in many forms. Let’s be generous to dole it out to everyone we encounter.

The gift of service. For the last few years I’ve served at Operation Care Dallas (www.opcare.org), which is the biggest Christmas party for the Homeless in North America. My husband and I served together last year, helping in the optical area. We fitted people with reader glasses so they could see the printed page. Sometimes I take for granted the fact that I have a gazillion readers sporadically placed all over my house, but an older homeless person has no way to read without one precious pair of glasses. This year, I’m gathering up all the old readers from around my house, plus a bunch from the dollar store and headed downtown again to serve at this fantastic event. The joy of serving others strengthens our own hearts, as well as blessing the recipients.

Possibly the most important gift we can give during the holidays and throughout the year is the gift of forgiveness. Forgiveness is a powerful package. It builds bridges, it mends broken relationships, it sets the captive heart free, and it breaks the chains of bitterness. I want to encourage you to give forgiveness to others this year more than any other time in your life. As we generously give the priceless gifts of kindness, service and forgiveness to our family, friends, neighbors and even strangers we bring much needed warmth and light to a cold world.

The Power of Thanksgiving

2011-11-21T15:12:00.000-08:00

It’s hard to imagine the challenges the pilgrims faced before the first Thanksgiving. They suffered great affliction and faced starvation through the severe winter, only to see God’s hand of provision through the kindness and help of their Native Americans friends. Thankfulness to God overflowed from their hearts as they celebrated together and reflected on God’s goodness to them. Perhaps you have heard the story of the five kernels of corn which the pilgrims placed at their Thanksgiving table as a remembrance of God’s faithfulness. The five kernels reflected the daily rations the pilgrims had to eat the previous terrible winter. They set aside a day to give God thanks for seeing them through. Now we celebrate as well.

What has God brought you through this last year? Take a moment to reflect on the many ways He carried you through the difficult times. Thank Him for His care and comfort during the challenges and don’t forget to thank Him for the glorious and glad times as well. It is good to give thanks continually. It blesses God and us! Our faith is strengthened and our joy increased as we reflect on God’s goodness, faithfulness, love and mercy.

You may want to read the following declarations to your kids this week. Place five kernels of corn at each place setting of your Thanksgiving table to reflect on and share at least five things you are thankful for from the past year.

Psalm 100

1 Shout with joy to the Lord, all the earth!
    2 Worship the Lord with gladness.
      Come before him, singing with joy.
3 Acknowledge that the Lord is God!
      He made us, and we are his.
      We are his people, the sheep of his pasture.
4 Enter his gates with thanksgiving;
      go into his courts with praise.
      Give thanks to him and praise his name.
5 For the Lord is good.
      His unfailing love continues forever,
      and his faithfulness continues to each generation.

On October 3, 1789 George Washington issued the following National Day of Thanksgiving Proclamation:

“Whereas it is the duty of all nations to acknowledge the providence of Almighty God, to obey His will, to be grateful for his benefits, and humbly to implore His protection and favor…

“Now, therefore, I do recommend and assign Thursday, the twenty-sixth of November next, to be devoted by the people of these United States…that we then may all unite unto him our sincere and humble thanks for His kind care and protection of the people of this country pervious to their becoming a nation; for the signal and manifold mercies and the favorable interpositions of His providence in the course and conclusion of the late war; for the great degree of tranquility, union, and plenty which we have since enjoyed; for the peaceable and rational manner in which we have been enabled to establish constitutions of government for our safety and happiness, and particularly the national one now lately instituted; for the civil and religious liberty with which we are blessed…

“And also that we may then unite in most humbly offering our prayers and supplications to the great Lord and Ruler of Nations, and beseech Him to pardon our national and other transgressions, to enable us all, whether in public or private stations, to perform our several and relative duties properly and punctually, to render our national government a blessing to all the People, by constantly being a government of wise, just and constitutional laws, discreetly and faithfully executed and obeyed, to protect and guide all Sovereigns and Nations (especially such as have shown kindness unto us) and to bless them with good government, peace and concord, to promote the knowledge and practice of the true religion and virtue, and the increase in science among them and Us, and generally to grant unto all Mankind such a degree of temporal prosperity as He alone know to be best.”

Choosing Gratitude

2011-11-08T13:40:00.000-08:00

“Give thanks to the LORD, for he is good!

His faithful love endures forever.” Psalm 107:1

November is the perfect month to reignite an attitude of gratitude. God wants us to be thankful people and live with continually grateful hearts. It changes the way we think and act when we choose to be less grumbly and more grateful. Teach your kids this week that gratitude is a choice. The Bible tells us to give thanks in everything. This month I want to encourage you to start a Thanksgiving Journal with your kids. Every evening before they go to bed, ask them to tell you one thing they are thankful for. If they are older allow them to write it in the journal with different colored markers. Help them think of one new and different thing each day, so they are not saying the same thing over and over again. Younger kids may want to draw a picture of what they are thankful for. This journal is to help both our kids and us to get in the habit of daily giving thanks to God. Even if you don’t have kids, I want to encourage you to do the journal for yourself personally each night before you go to bed. The more we give thanks, the less focus we will have on what is fearful or frustrating in our lives. Look carefully and be creative in thinking about the things for which you are grateful.

I Thessalonians 5:16 – 18 says, “Always be joyful. Never stop praying. Be thankful in all circumstances, for this is God’s will for you who belong to Christ Jesus.” Sounds like a good passage to memorize, don’t you think?

Think About It

2011-10-31T10:20:00.000-07:00

From super heroes to monsters to politicians, we see quite a variety of costumes at this time of year. CNN reported that over $6.8 billion will be spent on Halloween decorations, costumes and candy this year alone. It’s an economy boosting festival for sure. The researchers speculate that the reason for the rise in popularity of this October 31 celebration is that it is a “no strings attached” type of holiday. No one is required to make big meals, visit with family members or celebrate any type of religious ties. “It’s just about candy, dress up and fun,” they say.

Stop and think about that for moment. As moms, don’t we ultimately want our kids to grow up to be people who love family, are strong spiritually and yes, even enjoy big meals together. It’s a little scary (no pun intended) that Halloween has grown in significance because it avoids these hallmarks of society. Halloween was started by the Celts to signify the beginning of the dead winter. The day was named after the lord of the dead. The druids (Celtic priests) ruled over the celebration. They believed that on this night the separation between the world of the living and the world of the dead was the thinnest and that the ghosts of the dead could roam the earth in search of a body to possess. (info from www.yourdictionary.com)

Let us consider carefully how we lead our kids. As a follower of Christ, I want my kids to understand that God is my light and my salvation, and we do not need to live in fear (Psalm 27). I want them to know that God is the way, the truth and the life (John 14). I want them to find their strength in Him and go to Him for guidance throughout their lives even when they walk through the darkest valleys (Psalm 23). I want them to grow up loving God and knowing they are loved by Him (Psalm 103). I want them to know His Word and allow it to illumine their paths (Psalm 119).

Personally,I think there is an interest in elements of Halloween because people tend to be drawn to the supernatural. They are intrigued by the unexplainable. Yet, our answers are not found in the deeds of the darkness; our answers are found in Christ. Get to know Him through His word. He is the one who holds our future. He is the One who is our salvation. Look to Christ. Point your kids to Christ. He is the light of the world, and in Him is no darkness at all.

1 John 1:5-7 This is the message we have heard from him and declare to you: God is light; in him there is no darkness at all. 6 If we claim to have fellowship with him and yet walk in the darkness, we lie and do not live out the truth. 7 But if we walk in the light, as he is in the light, we have fellowship with one another, and the blood of Jesus, his Son, purifies us from all sin.

Delightful Dinner Discussions

2011-10-16T16:12:00.000-07:00

As much as we hope dinner would be filled with engaging and meaningful conversations, sometimes it may take a little boost to ignite the discourse. Here are a several conversation starters to enhance your meal time. Choose one of the following and adjust it to fit your family’s age and interests.

If you could start a restaurant, what would it be called and what would be on the menu?
If you could donate a million dollars to the charities of your choice, to what groups or organizations would you give it?
If you could take one friend and go on a one week (all expenses paid) vacation, where would you go and who would you bring?
If you were going to make a movie, who would star in it and what would it be about?
What would be the title of your autobiography and name some of the highlights?
Where in this world do you want to visit before you die?
Describe your dream dinner and who you would invite.
If you could go back in history, what era or time period would you choose and why?
If you could be one Bible character who would you be?
If you had to perform one talent on stage in front of an audience, what would it be?
If you had two days to go away and relax from all responsibilities what would you do?

Questions for Little Ones:

Who is your favorite Bible Character?
Where is your favorite place to visit?
What animal do you like best?
Which book do you like to read?
What do you like to draw?
Which color is your favorite?
Which room do you like best in our house?
Where is your favorite place to play?
Name your favorite toy.

Here are some additional ways to get conversation started:

The Question Box. Sit down with some friends and create a list of interesting, open-ended questions. Make some of them funny and some of them deep. Write each question down on an index card and put it in a shoe box. You may even want to decorate the box. Once a week at dinner, pull out the question box and allow one person to reach in and pull out a question, then go around the table and allow everyone to answer it.
Candy Coated Questions. Purchase a small bag of assorted color candies (M & M, Starbursts, Lollipops). In order to prepare for this game you will need to write a different question for each color. For instance:

Blue - What is your favorite movie and why?
Green – Where would you like to take your dream vacation?
Red – If you found a $20 bill in your pocket that you didn’t realize you had, what would you do with it?

As family members pick a candy out of the bag, they answer the question that correlates to the color that they drew. You can go around several times with this game, as I’m sure your kids won’t mind drawing a new piece of candy out of the bag. You may want them to set the candy aside to save it for dessert.

Ask Another. Place each family member’s name on a piece of paper. Randomly put the on paper under each dinner plate (or you can tape it under their chair). When you are ready, have each person look at the name they received and then one by one they must ask their given person a question. You may have a pool of several questions to choose from or each person comes up with one on their own.

The ideas in this blog can be found in my book, A Positive Plan for More Fun Less Whining (Thomas Nelson).

Family Dinner - The Prep

2011-10-10T13:40:00.000-07:00

The hour before dinner for most of us could be called “The Killer Hour.” Everyone is hungry. The baby is fussy, kids are restless, husband is weary and mom is frazzled. After-school activities, homework and errands seem to pull us in a million different directions. Needless to say, preparation for dinner for many of us must be minimal by shear necessity. There may be days when it is easier to cook and eat at home, then there may be days when the best you can do is drive through.

Here are some tips to help you through the dinner hour with simple preparation, so that you can enjoy your dinner together.

Quick and Easy Recipes. Personally I look for recipes that have five ingredients or less and very little chopping required. There are several cookbooks that I have found helpful which I have listed in the resource section at the back of the book. My best source for good, family-friendly recipes is from my friends. We share what works or what doesn’t. Here are three of my easiest dinners that I want to share with you:

· Crock Pot Roast: 5 -6 lb beef rump roast, one packet of dry onion soup mix, one can of cream of mushroom, one cup water, salt and pepper. Dump it all in the crock pot in the morning. Let it slow cook all day. Add vegetables or potatoes if you like. Serve with bread (prepared garlic bread is great) and a salad (out of the bag of course) and you have one great, easy-to-prepare, home-cooked meal (makes the house smell real good too).

· Spiral cut Honey baked Ham: Look for them on sale after the holidays at your local grocery. One ham can go a long way. Heat if up for dinner, along with baked sweet potatoes (wrap in foil and bake at 350 for 40 minutes) and tossed salad (add dried cranberries, pecans and feta cheese along with your favorite dressing). Use leftovers for breakfast or mac and cheese with ham or ham sandwiches or club salad and don’t forget to make bean soup with the hambone.

· Roasted Chicken: Many grocery stores sell prepared rotisserie chicken fully cooked which is a wonderful help. You can also buy a whole chicken, stuff it with a whole, peeled onion. Rub it with butter and season it with salt, pepper and rosemary. Cover and bake at 350 for 1 – 1 ½ or until fully cooked. Serve with biscuits, favorite veggies, and sliced oranges. You can boil the remains (straining out the bones) to make chicken broth for chicken noodle soup later in the week.

You may also want to consider what I call “Partial Drive Thru” as an option. I have found when I am toting kids here and there after school, I may need the help of a local drive through for at least part of the meal. Bring home a bucket of fried chicken, serve with veggies or fruit you already have at home, and everyone is pleased. In purchasing fast food and bringing it home, I can still maintain dinnertime with family while having a little relief from the preparation.

Serve dinner with a KISS (keep it smart & simple). One of my husband’s favorite meals is a patty melt. Yes, it is simply a grilled hamburger patty with cheese and a sliced onion on top. Whenever I grill the patty melt for him, I offer hamburger tacos to my daughters. All I do is chop up a patty melt and serve it in soft tortilla. They love it, and think I’m some sort of great cook! Chicken breast baked in Italian dressing has gotten me out of a lot of fixes as well. Never underestimate the blessing of having a frozen pizza or lasagna in the freezer.

The point is to be deliberate about dinner. It does mean giving a little thought and preparation to what you will do. Each Sunday afternoon consider taking a moment to review the family calendar and make a list of simple and practical dinner plans for each night of the week. You may even want to post “this week’s menu” for the whole family to see, so they know what they can expect during the week.

From my book:

Family Dinner

2011-10-03T08:22:00.000-07:00

How would you describe the perfect family dinner? Would it be a delicious, home-cooked meal that suited everyone’s taste? Should it include a lovely table centerpiece and perfectly appointed place-settings? What about a well-dressed, well-mannered family who arrived at the dinner table on time without having to be called?

Right now you are probably thinking, “If that’s what I have to do to have a great family dinner, then forget it! Sounds nice, but it won’t happen at my house.”

Never fear! A delightful meal with kids and hubby doesn’t have to look like a picture out of Martha Stewart’s Living. In fact, personally speaking, if I tried to accomplish all of the criteria above, it may look good on the outside, but I would be a frazzled, short-tempered mess on the inside. Thankfully positive and enriching family meals are doable for regular people like you and me.

Most of us recognize that in our culture today, the typical family dinner hour is dying a fast death, yet dinnertime is a vital time for developing relationships. A study done by The National Center on Addiction and Substance Abuse at Columbia University revealed that frequent family dinners cut teens’ substance abuse risk in half. “The more often children and teens eat dinner with their families, the less likely they are to smoke, drink and use drugs.”[1] They go on to say that children and teens who participate in frequent family dinners:

· Are less likely to have friends or classmate who use illicit drugs or abuse prescription drugs.

· Have lower levels of tension and stress at home

· Are more likely to say that their parents are proud of them

· Are likelier to say they can confide in their parents

· Are likelier to get better grades in school

· Are more likely to be emotionally content and have positive peer relationships

· Have healthier eating habits

· Are at lower risk for thoughts of suicide[1]

Wow! If you were uncertain of the importance of family dinners, I bet you have a stronger opinion now. Family dinners have a long term positive impact on our kids. In this chapter I want to inspire and equip you with ideas on how to create meaningful and fun dinner times for your family. Don’t feel guilty if you can’t do family dinners every night. Do what you can and try to make it a priority.

My hope is that as you delight in planning dinner, your joy will spread to the rest of your family. Let me assure you that you don’t have to cook elaborate meals or make everything look perfect. Solomon said, “A dry crust eaten in peace is better than a great feast with strife.”[1] A great attitude and little food, go a long way in feeding one’s body, mind and soul.

Here are the five key ingredients to making dinner time a delight:

Simple Preparation
Great Conversation
Respectful Attitude
Fun Flare
Family Participation

During the month of October, we will be exploring each of these areas. My hope is to encourage and inspire you to engage in meaningful family time around the dinner table.

This is an excerpt form my book, "A Positive Plan for Creating More Fun, Less Whining."

Feeling Frazzled?

2011-09-17T16:16:00.000-07:00

Being a mother not only takes time,

but also requires generous amounts of faith and courage.

Evelyn L. Beilenson

I prayed to the Lord, and he answered me,

freeing me from all my fears.

Those who look to him for help will be radiant with joy;

no shadow of shame will darken their faces.

Psalm 34:4,5

What does a typical weekday look like at your home? If you were just thinking to yourself “You don’t even want to know,” then join the club! Welcome to the growing group of women known as Frazzled Females. What are the membership requirements for this popular club? See if you can relate to any of the following factors:

Guilt

Lack of perfect parenting skills

Desire for deeper relationships

Challenges at work

Little fun

Exhausted or overwhelmed

Spiritually dry

Limited time for exercise

Constantly rushed

Home in shambles

Office desk piled high

The good news is that although our life circumstances may be frazzling at times, we can learn to delight in the blessings and enjoy our family in the process.

Personal Discovery

Take a moment to ponder the following questions:

v How would you describe your life right now? What word or words would you use?

v What seems to frazzle or unsettle you personally? We all have different stress points. What are some of your hot bottons?

v Typically, what do you do when you get stressed? How does it play out in actions?

v Would you say this is a healthy or unhealthy way to deal with stress?

v Does my frazzled state effect other people?

You are not alone! We all feel frazzled and stressed in some form or fashion. Our goal is not to have a frazzle-free life, for that will not happen this side of heaven. Our goal is to move in a positive direction. Three ways we can move from being a Frazzled Female to a Well-balanced Woman are:

Ø Reduce the amount of factors that make us frazzled.

Ø Handle our stress in a healthy way.

Ø Delight in what we are doing.

This is an excerpt from a book I wrote with Jane Jarrell entitled The Frazzled Factor (Thomas Nelson)

Thou Shalt Not Compare

2011-09-11T12:35:00.000-07:00

Do you ever look at other families and secretly think to yourself, How do they do it? They always love and support one another. Their kids are high achievers and stellar students. They seem to do everything well, and do it with a smile. As you watch them, little feelings of jealousy, envy, or guilt creep in and begin destroying your confidence as a mom. Been there?

Then there are those families that make you shake your head and think to yourself, I can’t believe the way they parent their kids. I would never do what they are doing. Tiny tidbits of pride begin to seep in as you secretly thank God that your family is not like them. Been there?

Comparisons and assumptions are common to all of us. It makes sense to try to gauge our success by looking at others and observing how they do things. Businesses do it; athletes do it; even churches do it. We all tend to compare our success (or failure) by the meter and measure of others. But that’s not how it should be between families.

Although it goes against our natural grain, we must redirect our thinking away from comparisons with other families. On the road to delight, we need to picture a big sign that says, “Thou shalt not compare.” God has given each family a different mix of people and personalities. No two families are exactly the same.

Recently I heard the story about identical twin sisters who married identical twin brothers. (The two sets of twins met at a twins convention, of all places!) At the time of the story, the couples lived next door to each other. With two sets of identical parents, you would think that their families would be, well, identical. They’re not. In fact, their families are very different. They have different looks and different personalities, different interests and different talents. They are involved in different activities, and the two sets of parents discipline their children in different ways.

Now if two sets of identical twin parents do not have identical families, then why in the world would we think there is a family out there with whom we can compare ours? Each family (yours, mine, and others) is a unique blend of personalities, abilities, talents, handicaps, and idiosyncrasies. As parents, we bring into our families a variety of backgrounds, work ethics, political persuasions, and religious beliefs.

One of the greatest joys we can experience in motherhood is to delight in our God-given families without comparing them with others. Let’s throw away the assumption that other families have it all together (or are a mess, for that matter). We don’t know what goes on inside their homes. What we do know is that God has given each of us a unique group of family members. Our delight comes in following God’s purpose and plan for our own families, not someone else’s.

This is an excerpt from my book, "A Positive Plan for Creating More Calm/Less Stress." (Thomas Nelson)

Confessions of an Overwhelmed Mom

2011-09-06T18:41:00.000-07:00

Plenty of people miss their share of happiness,

not because they never found it,

but because they didn’t stop to enjoy it.

W. Feather

The Lord is my shepherd;

I have everything I need.

He lets me rest in green pastures.

He leads me to calm water.

He gives me new strength.

He leads me on paths that are right

for the good of his name.

Psalm 23:1–3

Cashier: “Do you want your receipt in the bag?”

Me, with a perplexed look: “Ummm.”

Cashier: “Receipt in the bag or in your purse, lady? It’s really a simple question.”

It’s a little scary when I can’t come up with answers to no-brainer questions. You can imagine what I’m like at the grocery store when I have to decide between paper or plastic, cash or credit. And don’t even get me started on ordering a vanilla latte at Starbucks. (Tall, grande, or venti? Caf or decaf? Whipped cream or no?) If the server were to hand me my coffee and then ask for my kids’ names and ages, I think it would send me over the edge.

I affectionately refer to my inability to think clearly at times as “brain blips.” Maybe a better term would be “mental overload.”

How did I get to this disoriented state? The first rumblings of overwhelm began when I brought my first precious baby girl home from the hospital. Diapers, feeding, laundry, bath, more feeding, diapers, spit up, ear infection, laundry—it wasn’t as easy as I thought it would be. Eventually I graduated from those early stages of being rattled and found my life returning to some semblance of order until . . . my second precious baby girl was born. Then I was back to caring for all the needs of a newborn—plus managing a toddler. The good news is, even those responsibilities eventually settled into a peaceful rhythm.

When my oldest daughter entered kindergarten, I thought my life would be smooth sailing from then on. I was wrong. My overwhelm increased one soccer game at a time. Allow me to explain. The year Grace (my oldest) entered kindergarten, I joined the volunteer ranks of hundreds of moms cutting, pasting, and driving on school field trips. One of my newfound friend-volunteer moms informed me that she was starting a kids’ soccer team, and she wanted to give me the opportunity to sign Grace up before all the spots were taken.

Soccer? I didn’t know much about the game, except that everyone else was talking about it. Grace had never expressed an interest in soccer, but who was I to hold her back? Maybe she had the potential to make the women’s Olympic soccer team one day; but how would she ever have that chance unless I started her at the age of five? Besides, I figured, going to soccer games would give me an opportunity to get to know the other moms. Practice every Tuesday during our normal dinner time? Well, I guess that’s okay, I thought to myself. Just as long as it doesn’t get in the way of church on Wednesdays and gymnastics on Thursdays.

The next year my other daughter, Joy, joined a different soccer team with a different set of practice times. And as if that didn’t require enough schedule juggling during the week, we now had two games to get to on Saturdays. As the girls grew older, their practices grew longer and more frequent. Did I mention we also added volleyball and basketball seasons to our year-round athletic cycle of practices and games?

Kindergarten and sports were only the beginning of the treadmill. Add homeroom mom responsibilities, school meetings and programs, field trips, and luncheons. Mix in time with friends, exercise, housework, cooking, doctor appointments, dentist visits, helping with homework, and trips to the cleaners. Before I knew it, I was juggling more balls than I could dream of holding. Each one represented a good and worthwhile activity, but their sheer number was slowly pushing me into a frazzled state.

Why did I do it? Why did I add all these activities to my plate and my kids’ plates? Some of them could not have been avoided (like doctor appointments); yet some certainly could have been circumvented, postponed, or never added at all. To be brutally honest with you, the root causes of my over-scheduling were deep within my own heart: the fear of being left out or left behind; guilt that I wasn’t doing enough for my kids; and pride that I was asked to be in charge. Comparing myself and my family with others played a big part in my over-involvement too. I suspect I am not the only mom who has ever found herself in such a pickle!

In fact, as I was writing this a friend called me to say, “Pray for me. I feel overwhelmed with all of the things going on with each of my children. If I could just stay on top of it all, I would feel great, but I can’t. There’s simply too much. Then I hear about all the things other families are doing, and I feel guilty.” All I could say is, “Honey, can I relate!” And we stopped and prayed.

If you have not yet stepped onto the fast-lane, activity-driven treadmill, don’t do it! Save yourself before it’s too late! As for the rest of us who are running on overload, we must find a way to get off, or at least to slow down. We must find practical solutions to overcome our overwhelmed state.

We can start by taking a deliberate look at our lives and then considering what we can do to move ourselves and our families in a positive, more calming direction. “How’s that working for you?” as Dr. Phil would say. We need to ask, Has my pattern for life brought about the desired goals? Is my life better for the wear? In my own life, the overload of activities only served to make me more stressed out and not so nice to the people around me. For my kids’ part, they were burned out on soccer and gymnastics by age twelve.

So what can we do differently? Is it a matter of simply wiping all the activities off our calendars and getting rid of everything that stresses us out? That’s a nice idea, but it’s not practical. Over the years it has become evident to me that the most effective, realistic way to replace overwhelm with personal order and peace boils down to two basic elements:

1. Don’t do everything; do the right things.

2. Rely on God, not yourself, for your strength.

I’ll elaborate on these two simple principles in my next blog. Until then, keep looking up and seeking God’s guidance in all you do.

Keeping Your Sanity While Shopping

2011-08-26T13:12:00.001-07:00

Hold tight rein over three T’s – thought, temper,

and tongue – and you will have few regrets.

Teen Esteem

It is better to be patient than powerful;

it is better to have self-control than to conquer a city.

Proverbs 16:32

Has it ever occurred to you that the only time in scripture when Jesus lost his temper was with the buyers, sellers and money changers? Of course our little outburst can’t always be attributed to “righteous indignation,” but shopping with kids typically is a tension-filled time. Whether we are juggling two preschoolers while shopping for groceries or hunting for something “decent to wear” with several teenagers, tempers can flare quite easily.

We can handle some of the potential shopping challenges proactively by taking preventative measures before we leave the house. We also want to be equipped with some quick and creative ways to deal with the difficulties on the spot when they do arise. In this chapter we will explore creative ways to make shopping a more positive experience for both you and your kids.

Preventative Measures

Shopping success begins by being prepared and taking precautions. Consider the following checklist before setting out for a shopping adventure. It may take a few extra moments before you leave, but the end result will be a good experience with fewer complaints.

Are the kids (and you) well-rested? Tired often equals temper-tantrums.
Have the kids been fed? Don’t take a hungry child shopping unless you plan to feed him there.
Visit the Bathroom before you begin.
Inform the kids. In a positive tone, tell them where you are taking them and what you expect of their behavior. Caryl Waller Krueger in her book 1001 Things to Do with your Kids[i] suggests The Big Three Grocery Shopping Rules: Walk, Talk and Gawk. Walk, but no running or pushing permitted. Talk, but no crying or shouting allowed. Gawk (or look) but don’t pester for things.
Make your list of what you need before you go. Ask older kids to make their own lists and discuss it together before you hit the stores.
Buying Power. Instruct the kids on what they can purchase or choose within the budget. Remind them that they can purchase additional things from their own savings.
Shop at times that tend to be less crowded. Don’t try to accomplish too much in one day.
Consider online shopping for certain products and clothing.
Choose kid-friendly stores and malls. Fun grocery baskets, safe play areas and the availability of kid-food can make a lot of difference in your experience. Take a break for a snack and give yourself time to relax and regroup.

[i] Caryl Waller Krueger, 1001 Things to do with Your Kids (New York, NY: Galahad Books, 1988) p. 73.

Sending Off Summer with a Smile

2011-08-14T15:13:00.001-07:00

As summer winds down and you prepare for school year, here are a few ideas to do during your last few days of summer.

• Movie Day: Rent some of your favorite movies, pop popcorn, supply candy and soft drinks just like the movie theater. It’s fun to take it a step further and give everyone play money to buy movie tickets and concessions. Use a play cash register and set out candy and cokes on a table for the kids to purchase.

• Drama Day: Create a play together. Make up the story or use one that you are already familiar with. Assign parts, so everyone participates. Use the dress up barrel for costumes. Perform the play for dad or video tape it to watch and to send to relatives.

• Music Day: Listen and learn about different kinds of music. Create your own band by making a variety instruments using materials that you have around the house. A paper towel tube and a funnel can become a horn or trumpet. Make drums using coffee or oatmeal cans. Create a xylophone by setting up glasses of water each with a different amount. Tap the glasses with a spoon for different sounds. Make a stringed instrument using a shoe box top and putting large rubber bands around it. Play together and make a symphony of sound.

• Art Day: Visit an art museum if you have one nearby or go on line and look at a variety of artists. We even had an art bingo set which helped us put together great works of art with master artists. Encourage the kids to do a little art on their own. You can choose different mediums, paints, sketching, paper Mache, collages. Allow your kids to discover and explore and find some of their hidden talents. Consider framing some of their work from Art day and lining a hall with the pictures. Invite visitors to see the art exhibition when they come over.

• Mystery Trips. My friend Carol Floch celebrates “nothing days” in a creative and unique way. I’ll let her tell you about it. “I love planning surprises, and keeping the destination a secret. Sometimes it was a special outing on a day off of school, sometimes just a fun surprise for a summer day; usually it was just a day trip, but sometimes a weekend away, and even once I surprised them with a trip to Dallas (I packed their suitcases all week while they were at school). They didn't figure it out until we were almost to the airport. Needless to say, they were shocked! The night before or day of a mystery trip, I would tell them what they needed to wear or needed to bring. It helped make traveling part of the adventure, instead of just the destination. It tends to keep everyone in upbeat moods. One time we drove to see friends who had moved to the next state, which was a tremendously fun surprise for the kids! Of course, the kids would hammer me with questions, wanting clues, and they loved to try and guess where we were going, but usually I was pretty tight-lipped! To this day, my kids tend to enjoy car travel, and the family time it provides.”

This is an excerpt from my book, A Positive Plan for Creating More Fun Less Whining.

Indoor Ingenuity to Beat the Heat

2011-08-07T15:05:00.000-07:00

The whole world is yours,

and you can explore it all again as you play with a child.

Gwen Ellis

The house of the righteous contains great treasure.

Proverbs 15:6 NIV

In Texas the weather is record breaking hot. Needless to say, indoor activities are a better choice for the dog days of summer. In today’s blog I want to give you some quick and simple things to do inside.

Noodle Games and Art - Noodles can offer a play-filled afternoon. Purchase a variety of shapes and sizes of noodles. Pour them in a tub and play with them much like the Rice Tub. Play Super Noodles by placing several jars or plastic tubs in front of each child, set the timer and see how many they can separate by shape into their jars before the timer runs out. To bring out your artistic talents, decorate juice and soup cans with noodles. Dip the noodles in craft glue, then place them on the can. Spray paint the can when you are done and you have a delightful new pencil holder.

Silly Sock Puppets – Plan a puppet show and create the puppets. First help the kids think or choose a story to portray or a simple show to perform. It may be one they are familiar with or they may want to create their own story. You could also have them create the members of a singing group to lip-sync a song from a CD. Spend a little time writing the script and deciding on what characters you need. Now create those characters using socks. Go to the famous sock drawer (you know the one that is filled with socks that have no matches). Use yarn for hair, craft eyes, pom poms or markers for the eyes and nose (remember the nose should be the big toe part of the sock). The wilder, wackier and crazier the better. You may want to video tape the production for posterity or simply to sit down and have a great laugh.

Budding Authors - Give the kids the opportunity to express themselves through pictures and story in order to create their own children’s book. You will need plenty of plain white paper and some heavy card board or colored card stock. Tell the kids you want them to create a story. Encourage them to sketch out what they are thinking or write out their thoughts before they actually begin the pages of the book. This project may turn out to take several days to complete, depending on how serious they take this. Younger kids can draw the pictures and you can write the words for them underneath. Allow the creativity to flow. When their book is complete, take it to an office supply store and ask them to spiral bind it. You may want to consider laminating the cover. There are some printers who have book binding capabilities, so check out what is available in your area. You may want to even make copies to send to grandparents.

Designer Hats – Begin with an inexpensive straw hat or baseball cap and make it into a hat extraordinaire. Visit a fabric or craft store for supplies such as feathers, sequins, jewels, appliqués, patches, buttons and fabric remnants. Glue, staple and /or tape the additions to your hat. See who can create the most outrageous or silly hat, and don’t forget to take pictures. You may choose to make your own hats from folded newspapers.

Special Scrapbook - Never underestimate the joy of scrap-booking together. Boys or girls, young or old all can participate and enjoy working together. Sort through boxes of old photos together, laughing and crying along the way! You may want to make a trip to a craft store to purchase scrapbook materials or make your own. You will want to add stickers, quotes and little thoughts along the way. Some memory trinkets can fit into the book as well, such as a certificate, birthday card or award patch. As you work on the big family version, allow younger ones to work on a simple or play version using stickers, markers and kid scissors. One day when my kids were about 10 and 11, I told them to gather their favorite pictures, and I took them to a scrapbook place where they each to pick out their own album and stickers. We worked for hours together, and they continued to keep up their scrapbooks on their own. I count it as one of my favorite mother/daughter days.

Puzzled - Kids feel a sense of accomplishment when they finish putting a puzzle together, but they will feel an even greater sense when they take part in making the puzzle. You can either have the kids draw a colorful picture on a large thick piece of construction paper, or you can search for a beautiful full page picture from a magazine and glue it to paper or card stock. Allow each child to make and create their own puzzle. Use clear contact paper to strengthen the puzzle, then cut the picture into puzzle pieces. Older kids can cut their own. You may want to determine how easy or difficult you want the puzzle to be (depending on your kids ages) before you start cutting. Place each puzzle in a separate large envelope or Ziploc bag with the creator’s name on it. It’s fun to play some games like Pass the Puzzle. Everyone sits at the table with one puzzle in front of them. When the bell rings everyone begins to put their puzzle together, but every 15 seconds the bell is rung and the players shift one seat to the right to work on the next puzzle. The players continue to shift every 15 seconds until all puzzles are finally complete. Lots of smiles for kids of all ages. Keep the puzzles to bring along on trips or for waiting rooms.

From my book, A Positive Plan for Creating More Fun Less Whining (Karol Ladd)

Weeding Out Whining

2011-08-01T08:43:00.000-07:00

Have the weeds of whining begun to sprout in your house this summer? We can’t simply weed wack whining with our own yelling and screaming, nor can we weed wack it by trying to make everyone happy and only do fun things. We must pull whining up by the roots. The roots of self-centeredness, discontent and selfish pride can be found in each one of us (yes, us moms are not excluded here). The beautiful lesson we want to continue to teach is that even if everything doesn’t go our way, through God’s strength we can become content in our circumstances.

There is only one real solution, we must get to the root system or heart of whining. When Christ becomes the center of our lives, our hearts and minds have a different focus. We begin to see things with a heavenly perspective allowing us to be grace-filled, forgiving and flexible. We also love and serve others as we follow Christ’s example. We can’t change our core, but God can through the power of His Holy Spirit. Jesus reminds us that as we abide in Him we will bear much fruit. Fruit like, love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, gentleness and self control. I like these kinds of fruit, don’t you?

This beautiful fruit comes as a result of abiding in Christ. Ultimately our weakness brings us to our need for Him and that’s a good place to be. May the Lord help each of us to grow in flexibility, compassion, grace, thankfulness and contentment, as he weeds out grumbling and discontentment from our own hearts and encourage our kids to do the same. Here’s a Family Fun Devotional to bring the message home.

Read: Philippians 2:14, 15

Discussion starters:

Why do you think people complain or grumble?

Do you think people are happier or sadder when they complain?

What is the opposite of grumbling?

Do:

Weed and Plant

Weed: If possible, locate some weeds that you are able to eliminate in your yard. As a family talk about how it doesn’t work to just pull off the top of the weeds. Use tools to get down to the roots and weed a few together. Point out that just as weeds grow quickly and easily, so whining and complaining easily grow in our attitudes. For older children talk about what are some of the roots of whining (discontent, self-centeredness, bitterness). Talk together about how the Lord is able to weed those things out of our hearts and make us a new creation.

Plant: Now plant some seeds together in your garden or in a pot. Talk about the fact that when we plant the seeds of God’s truth in our hearts and minds and allow God’s spirit to water it, our attitudes grow into beautiful plants with the fruit of love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control.

Life Lessons Learned at the Beach

2011-07-20T12:13:00.000-07:00

“Life isn’t about waiting for the storm to pass…it’s about dancing in the rain.”

Less than a week ago I boarded the plane with my daughter as we looked forward to a few days of relaxation and sunshine in Florida at the beach. Soon after we arrived it began to rain, and it continued to gush and pour for the next 24 hours. On the second morning of torrential downpours my hope for sunshine had diminished into the reality that we were facing another day of disappointment and change in plans.

As I sat looking out the window praying and reflecting, a story popped into my head. It was the story of Paul and Silas as they sat beaten and chained in the innermost parts of the Philippian jail. Their reaction was not sulking or moaning. No these two made their own sunshine in the midst of dismal circumstances by praising and praying to God. It occurred to me if Paul and Silas could praise God in the horrible, stinky, sunshineless prison, then I could praise God in the middle of my rained-out vacation.

Lesson One - Thank God Even in the Frustrations.

I pulled open my journal and began to write what I was thankful for about the rain.

Thank you Father for the rain:

It stills us and allows us to stop our busy routines.

It draws us together to spend time face to face.

It renews the land.

It helps plants to grow.

It helps us to grow as it changes our plans and teaches us to be flexible.

It makes us rely on God, seeking His guidance.

It cools and cleans the air.

It allows us to be creative and think of other options.

It allows us to do things we may otherwise be too busy to do.

As I praised God for His sovereignty and power and reflected on His wisdom in all things, I realized my attitude had completely changed from one of frustration to one of joy.

Lesson Two – Be Careful of Discouraging Voices.

The weather reports assured us over and over again that it would be raining the entire time we were in Florida. My daughter and I tried to find places within driving distance where we could grab even a little sunshine, but the reports said it would be raining for miles in all directions. Then the unexpected happened. Funny thing, but the predictions were wrong. The sun emerged on Monday and so did a gazillion beach-goers! The beach was packed with people, all trying to soak up some rays.

Often in our lives there are people, circumstances or even thoughts that tend to discourage us and take away our hope. We may become down on ourselves when we make a mistake and begin to think we are hopeless or we can’t do anything right. Do not be dismayed. Persevere. The God who created you has not left you, and He brings unexpected sunshine into dark situations. Just as He shook up the prison and set Paul and Silas free, so He can shake up our lives and go far and beyond our discouragements and frustrations.

Lesson Three: The Sun will Eventually Come Out Again.

I took this picture from the plane as we flew back to Dallas (where it was bright and sunny the whole time we were gone). The picture serves as a beautiful reminder to me that the clouds of life may block our view of the sun, but the sun is still present and shining just as brightly above the clouds. In fact we actually got burned as we were out on the beach on one of the cloudy days. Yes, we can testify that the sun is still at work even if you can’t see it or feel it’s warmth on your face.

Sometimes we feel as though God is distant and doesn’t care about our circumstances, yet the truth is He is continually at work. The Psalmist reminds us that He does not slumber or sleep. He is our keeper, our sun and our shield. Do not be discouraged, the sun will come out again. Do not lose hope, but instead turn your eyes to the God of hope. David said, “Those who look to Him are radiant with joy.”

Wonderful World of Sports Week

2011-07-13T08:44:00.000-07:00

Games and sports have played a significant role in most cultures throughout the ages. This week I want to focus on different aspects of physical activities in which our kids can engage and help them see the benefits of sports in their own lives. Natural health and fitness expert Brue M. Baker says, “I can't stress enough the importance of getting children motivated and involved in sports at a young age. With child obesity sky-rocketing it is now more important than ever for parents to instill sports motivation in their children. Not only is it great exercise to keep them healthy, but it also teaches them discipline and competition. On top of all that they will probably make some new friends as well and keep out of trouble as they get older.”

Even if your kids (or you for that matter) do not seem sports minded, this Sports Theme Week offers a good opportunity to introduce your kids to a variety of activities and increase their understanding of them as they learn about their benefits.

Activities

• Visit a local sporting event.

• Explore of variety of sports this week. Go to batting cages and hit balls. Find a public Tennis court and hit tennis balls. Play soccer or football in the park. Have swim races at the local pool. Play golf or Frisbee golf or Putt Putt golf. Take a gymnastics lesson. Take an early morning bike adventure. Visit an archery range. Check out the possibilities of canoeing, kayaking or zip-lines in your area.

• Watch a sports movie, or documentary.

• Take a tour of the nearest professional sports arena or stadium.

• Write a note or appreciation to a sports personality who exemplifies Christ-like living.

• Study the history of certain sports or explore the sports and games in different countries and cultures around the globe.

Books

• And Nobody Got Hurt!: The World's Weirdest, Wackiest True Sports Storiesby Len Berman and Kent Gamble (Sep 7, 2005)

• The Greatest Moments in Sports by Len Berman (Nov 1, 2009)

• Wild Pitch #1 (Backyard Sports) by Michael Teitelbaum and Ron Zalme (May 1, 2008)

• Sports (DK Eyewitness Books) by Tim Hammond (Sep 5, 2005)

Crafts

• Using poster board make sports trading cards of your favorite players.

• Create sports T-shirts. Start with large white T-shirts and create a shirt using appliqués or markers.

• Design a collage centering around a certain sports, use pictures from magazines and newspapers.

• Create your own sports magazine, with articles about sports and players. Interview a local athlete.

• Decorate water bottles.

Devotionals

• Paul often used sports terms to talk about spiritual truths. Here are a few to consider.

• Philippians 3:12 – 14 Press on, persevere with your eyes on the prize.

• Hebrews 12:1 – 3 – Run the race set before you fixing your eyes on Jesus.

• I Corinthians 9:24 – 27 Athletes practice discipline and self-control.

• II Timothy 4:7-8 Fight the good fight, finish the race.

Small Town, Great Message

2011-07-06T08:52:00.000-07:00

A woman walking her goat. Now you don’t see that every day, especially a goat with American flags attached to its horns. A patriotic goat – quite creative don’t you think? This year I had the rare opportunity to spend Independence Day in the hill country of Texas. The closest town was Spicewood, Texas, so I decided to visit their Fourth of July parade and enjoy a hearty helping of small town hospitality. I was not disappointed!

As I walked up to the gathering on Main Street, I was immediately invited by a local woman to sit with her on the back of her open pick-up truck to watch the parade. I accepted the invitation and met a thoughtful and vivacious woman who had lived on a ranch near Spicewood for years. She gave me a quick history of the town and made me feel right at home.

At the front of the parade was the fire truck and EMS vehicles, followed by decorated jeeps, bicycles, floats and old cars. Wisely, the horses were placed at the rear of the parade for obvious reasons. Probably my favorite entry in the parade was an Art Car, decorated on every inch of the car with various works of art and plaques and bumper stickers with funny sayings. Some of my favorites were:

“It’s never too late to live happily ever after.”

“Always remember you are unique just like everyone else.”

“Stop Global Whining.”

“The earth laughs in flowers.”

“Always make new mistakes. “

After the parade we all walked down to the local community center to enjoy free hot dogs and lemonade along with a delightful patriotic presentation which started off with a prayer and the pledge. We heard wonderful speeches from several of our vets who served in the armed forces to fight for our freedom. The ceremony closed with a small choir singing several patriotic songs.

What a refreshing blessing to be a part of this wonderful small town celebration! Here’s a few life messages I walked away with from my morning in Spicewood.

• Look for opportunities to reach out and be kind to a stranger.

• Live with creativity and allow your unique qualities to shine.

• Let our military service men & women know how much you appreciate them, always.

• Smile often, give generously and build community.

Gardening with Grace

2011-06-29T08:56:00.000-07:00

One of the responsibilities my daughter Grace has had this past year is to serve with Baylor University in starting their community garden. What a wonderful experience. The Baylor students help maintain the garden and the produce is given to local food kitchens. In light of visiting Grace this past week, I thought a wonderful theme week to offer you for the coming week would be one based on gardening. How wonderful to encourage our kids to plant, tend and garden. It offers a tremendous opportunity to grow in patience, responsibility and resourcefulness. Depending on the time of year you choose to use this theme week, you will need to research

Activities

Visit a local garden or farm

Take a trip to the nearest Farmers Market and purchase produce

Study and plan out a garden together. Build planter boxes or make preparations.

Shop for seeds and plants together (local nursery or online)

Work with the soil and plant together

Tend and Water each day, create a garden schedule for the kids to help throughout the seasons

Hunt down recipes specifically using fruits and vegetables and create your own family cookbook entitled From the Garden

Books

Recommendations from Elizabeth Kennedy, About.com Guide

Planting a Rainbow
This book is for children four and older, as well as adults, who want to go out and plant a rainbow of flowers after enjoying this book by Lois Ehlert. A mother and child “plant a rainbow,” beginning with bulbs in the fall and seeds and seedlings in the spring, and ending with a beautiful garden of flowers in a veritable rainbow of colors. The book’s striking design and Ehlert’s gorgeous cut-paper collages of flowers make this a particularly appealing book. (Voyager Books, 1988. ISBN: 0152626107)

The Surprise Garden
Three young children plant a “surprise garden,” using seeds of varying shapes, sizes, and colors. Since they don’t know what kinds of seeds they have planted, they have no idea what kinds of plants will grow in their garden. Carefully watering and weeding the seeds, they create a lush vegetable garden and enjoy a bountiful harvest. Shari Halpern’s cut-paper collages of the children cultivating the garden and Zoe Hall’s story will appeal to 3-6 year olds. (Scholastic, 1999. ISBN: 0590100769)

And the Good Brown Earth
Author and illustrator Kathy Henderson’s mixed media artwork adds humor and charm to this picture book for three- to six-year-olds. Joe and Gram plant and cultivate a garden. Gram works methodically while Joe explores and learns, each helped by “the good brown earth.” They dig in the fall, plan in the winter, plant in the spring, weed and water in summer, and gather produce and feast in late summer. The repetition in the text adds to the book’s appeal. (Candlewick Press, 2003. ISBN: 9780763638412)

Crafts

Paint and decorate clay pots or wooden planter boxes

Purchase white garden gloves and decorate them using permanent markers

Paint bushel baskets to use for gathering produce.

Draw up and color the plans for the garden.

Decorate garden stones (large smooth stones to adorn the garden)

Make mosaic squares for stepping or walking through the garden.

Devotionals

John 15:1-5 Our Father is the Gardener, Jesus is the Vine, we are the branches. Abide in Him

Galatians 6:7 We reap what we sow

Matthew 13:1-23 Parable of the four types of soil

Matthew 13:24 – 43 Parable of the Weeds

Psalm 107:37 – They sow their fields

Proverbs 6:19 – A Person who sows discord

Summer with a Smile

2011-06-15T10:06:00.000-07:00

Hopefully you are off to a good start for the summer. I love the pace of summer, a change from the typical routine and a time to rethink, reflect and reorganize as well as have loads of fun. As you may recall each summer I provide Theme Week ideas for you to use with the kids. As a former teacher, I used to have themes throughout the months of the school year, and I carried it into my kid’s summers. The idea of Theme weeks is to have a specific focus for each week, with crafts, field trips, books and even devotionals that go along with the theme. I will offer fresh ideas for you throughout the summer. Use whichever week’s ideas work best for your family. I hope this is a blessed summer for you and yours. Let me know how it is progressing or if you have some theme week ideas of your own.

Beautiful Butterflies Week

Activities:

• Visit a butterfly garden and/or plant your own

• Let the kids learn by discovery by growing your own butterfly from a caterpillar (www.nature-gifts.com/caterpillars or www.butterfly-gifts.com www.thebutterflysite.com/rearing.shtml )

• Visit a local natural history museum with butterfly exhibit.

• Watch a short movie on the migration of the butterflies.

• Make a butterfly costume by decorating poster board and using black pipe-cleaners and a headband for the antennae.

Books:

• Butterfly Activity Book at www.store.doverpublications.com

• Butterflies of North America (Kaufman focus Guides)

• Monarchs (Gulliver Green Book) by Kathryn Lasky

• Monarch butterfly at Aster Way (Smithsonian’s Backyard) by Elizabeth Ring

• Monarch and Milkweed by Helen Frost (ages 4-8)

• Butterflies on Carmen Street by Monica Brown (ages 4-8)

Crafts:

• Make tissue paper butterflies with a painted clothespin for the body. Clip them around the house.

• Bake Sugar cookies in the shape of butterflies and decorate in a variety of colors

• Decorate a large jar for the caterpillar to butterfly project

• Make healthy butterfly snacks using large straight pretzels for the body and apple slices for the wings

• Create Greeting Cards with butterflies on them. Make a variety of different colors, use colors, markers, watercolors to decorate. Think up fun sayings to put on the inside like “Fly High” or “Thank you for Bringing beauty to this world.” Address and send them to family members and friends.

Devotional:

• God makes us into a new creation in Christ, the old is gone the new is come. II Corinthians 5:17

• God’s mercies are new every morning. Lamentations 3:22,23

• Be transformed by the renewing of your minds Romans 12:1,2

Encouragement for Moms

2011-06-01T15:16:00.000-07:00

This week I had the opportunity to learn about a great new resource for you as moms. I know you will be strengthened and encouraged as you visit www.channelmom.com.
http://www.channelmom.com/

You will hear host Jenny Dean Schmidt as she provides practical insight for moms.
Jenny had an extensive career in television news, where she served as an on-air reporter, producer and writer.She has worked for ABC News, FNN, The MacNeil/Lehrer Newshour as well as NBC, ABC, CBS and WB affiliates in major U.S. cities.Jenny also served as a stay-at-home mom when her children were young.

Jenny is passionate about the role of mothers in modern America. She believes the role of moms is often overshadowed by the spotlight we place on celebrities and the celebrity lifestyle. She wants moms everywhere to understand they are celebrities to their Creator.

Listen to her broadcast online this week and you will hear an interview with me talking about being a Positive Mom!
Join me next week as we begin our summer series of Theme Weeks. I have some wonderful new creative ideas to share with you.

Set the Tone

2011-05-23T12:49:00.001-07:00

As a former science teacher and a current mom, I’ve discovered that the laws of family physics are relatively similar to some of the natural laws of physics. For example:

1. An object at rest (such as a teenager or husband or family dog) tends to stay at rest, unless otherwise motivated by a phone call, persistent nagging, or a biscuit.

2. An object in motion (such as a mouth) tends to stay in motion, especially when grumbling, complaining, or eating.

3. For every action (push, shove, or negative comment), there is an equal and opposite reaction, until a parent steps in and breaks it up.

4. Laundry spontaneously tends to flow from being concentrated within one location to becoming diffused or dispersed to various regions of the house.

5. The increase in the amount of activities on the family calendar is equal to the heat added to the system, minus the communication achieved within the system.

Talk about theories of relativity! Family relationships require a great deal of energy, without a doubt. But our goal as mothers is not to create a utopia with seamless interactions and continual bliss in the home. Our goal is to delight in the family God has given us and work through family challenges in a positive way. Then our homes can be a haven where family members find encouragement and strength to become all that God has created them to be.

As moms, we are the ones who tend to set the tone for our homes. Now wait a minute, you may be thinking. We’re only human! We struggle with feelings, emotions, fatigue, and stress, just like the rest of our family members. That’s true. But like it or not, we have a high calling: to influence and maintain the positive atmosphere in our homes. That’s part of our role as mothers. I guess you could say we are the “Positive Attitude Coordinators.”

Solomon put is this way: “A wise woman strengthens her family, but a foolish woman destroys hers by what she does.”The fact is our words, actions, and attitudes permeate our homes and have a profound effect upon our families. We can choose to be a refreshing delight, or we can choose to be a contentious complainer. I don’t know about you, but I would rather build my home with delight than destroy it with discouragement. At least, that’s my intention. It’s not easy! The road to delight takes determination. Let’s make choices in our words and actions each day to be a builder rather than destroyer.

Discovering Our Kids Strengths

2011-05-15T16:32:00.000-07:00

God has given each of us the ability to do certain things well.

— Romans 12:6

You never know when a moment

and a few sincere words can have an impact on a life.

— Zig Ziglar

Mr. Randall drove a garbage truck for a living in his hometown of Peabody, Massachusetts. One day as he was getting ready to empty a trash container, he noticed a Wendy’s soft-drink cup with a contest sticker still attached. The week before he had won a chicken sandwich when he pulled a sticker off a cup, so he was hoping to win some fries or a soft drink this time. Much to Craig’s surprise, he peeled the sticker and found it was worth $200,000, money he could use toward the construction of a new home!

A careless person discarded the cup as trash, but Craig saw its potential and found a great treasure in the process. We may not always find the winning sticker in a contest, but we will always be a winner when we are looking for the treasure in people, especially the treasure in our kids. Every person is created with unique gifts, talents, and abilities that are just waiting to be discovered. When we look for the treasure in people, we will never come up empty-handed. The key is that we must be looking for the sparkling gems and shiny gold nuggets in others. As moms, we have the opportunity to look for the treasure within each of our kids, help them discover their one-of-a-kind gifts and talents, and then provide them opportunities to sharpen those abilities.

God has given every child unique gifts and talents, and we have the privilege of uncovering and developing them in our kids. Consider the story told of a sculptor named Antonio who chipped away at a huge piece of stone, but eventually decided he couldn’t do anything with it. He pushed the stone aside so he could work on another project. Later, Michelangelo carved from that stone one of the greatest works of all times: the statue of David. Michelangelo was able to see the potential that Antonio didn’t.

How do we discover the potential in our kids? Simply by observing them. Plain and simple, as we study their natural bents, we begin to see glimmers of possibilities. The challenge we moms face so often, though, is to not be so focused on what our kids are doing wrong that we miss what they can do right. Certainly we should be on the lookout for times when we must discipline and train our kids, but we also need to be looking for their potential and their gifts.

Here are three tools to help you on your treasure hunt:

1. Seek God’s Help: As we pray for each of our kids individually, we can ask God to open our eyes to the gifts He has given them.

2. Spend Time Together: Never underestimate the power of a little one-on-one time with each of your children. This is an opportunity to hear their unique voice, understand their interests, and begin to see their desires

3. Seize Opportunities: Discover ways you can help your kids pursue their interests and develop their talents. As you look for opportunities for your children—ranging from classes to contests to competitions—these experiences not only enhance their skills, but also show them that you believe in them and their ability.

So look for the treasure in each of your children. Not one of them is exactly like you or your husband, and not one of them is exactly like any of their siblings. Each child is a beautiful creation and a treasure chest of abilities, gifts, and talents. Again, build on their unique bent. If they love to draw and create, encourage their artistic side. If they walk around the house singing and dancing, explore their performing arts ability. If they are running around outside, kicking or throwing a ball, build on that. If they love animals, develop that interest. The key to having great expectations for our kids is realizing it’s not all about our great plans for our child, but about God’s great plans and purpose for them, plans that will enable them to use the unique gifts and talents He has given them.

This is an excerpt from my book Bright Ideas for Busy Moms (J. Countryman publishers).

Story about Mr. Randall

[1] Edward K. Rowell, ed., Fresh Illustrations for Preaching and Teaching: From Leadership Journal(Grand Rapids, MI: Baker, 1997), 148.

Thank You Moms

2011-05-09T06:00:00.000-07:00

Dear moms, thank you for pouring your love, gifts and talents into the lives of the next generation of young people. Thank you for the significant work you do within your homes. You are making a difference through the power of your words and example. Although you may grow weary at times, I want to encourage you to keep up the great work for it is the most important work in the world.

You are not alone. You are not alone in your frustrations and struggles. Many a mom has struggled in similar ways just trying to get through the day with some sort of sanity and order. It will not always be this difficult. The kids will grow, new challenges will surface and you will get through. Remember you are not alone because a myriad of moms have gone before you forging the way in tough times as well as good times giving you an example of hope. Most importantly, you are not alone because you have a God who loves you. He is with you and will give you wisdom and strength to carry on.

Look to Him, the perfect parent, to give you all you need for today. His mercies are new each morning, and His love is unending.

His Power at Work Through You

2011-04-28T10:37:00.000-07:00

Easter in Austin with Joy, Adam and Grace. Hope you had a great Easter too.

Here's a devotional to encourage your heart:

“Whatever good we do, God does in us.” A.R.Fausset

II Peter 1:3-8

“As we know Jesus better, his divine power gives us everything we need for living a godly life. He has called us to receive his own glory and goodness! And by the same mighty power, he has given us all of his rich and wonderful promises. He has promised that you will escape the decadence all around you caused by evil desires and that you will share in his divine nature.

So make every effort to apply the benefits of these promises to your life. Then your faith will produce a life of moral excellence. A life of moral excellence leads to knowing God better. Knowing God leads to self-control. Self-control leads to patient endurance and patient endurance leads to godliness. Godliness leads to love for other Christians, and finally you will grow to have genuine love for everyone. The more you grow like this, the more you will become productive and useful in your knowledge of our Lord Jesus Christ.”

Reflection:

Have you ever turned on your blow dryer and nothing happen? Then you follow the cord and realize, unbeknownst to you, someone has unplugged the thing. Trying to use our blow dryer without electrical power is like trying to live a Godly life without God’s power. Peter assures us that as we get to know Jesus better, his divine power will give us everything we need for Godly living. Isn’t it wonderful to know He provides what it takes?

Peter goes on to say that we need to make every effort on our part as well. We can’t just sit back and ignore our responsibility saying, “Oh well God’s power will do it all.” Peter is clear: God gives us his power, and we are to be responsible to apply it in our lives. The end result? A productive and useful life! I want that for my kids, and I want that for me. Let’s live Godly lives in His power and strength.

Prayer:

Loving and Power Heavenly Father, I praise you that your divine power gives me everything I need. Thank you for calling me to receive your own glory and goodness. Thank you for giving me your rich and wonderful promises. Let your light shine through me. Help me to live a productive and useful life according to your word, and help me to teach my kids these wonderful principles as well. In Jesus Name, Amen.

“What God requires of us he himself works in us, or it is not done.” Matthew Henry

This is an excerpt from The Power of a Positive Mom Devotional (Simon & Schuster)

Let's Talk Easter

2011-04-16T16:14:00.000-07:00

How do you celebrate Easter? What are some of your favorite traditions? Here are a few to think about:

• On Thursday night of this week take the Lord’s supper together as a family and read the story found in Luke 22:14-23. Talk about the different elements as you take them together.

• Color hard boiled eggs together. Talk about how the egg reminds us of the Trinity:

• Father, Son and Holy Spirit. The hard outer shell reminds us of God the Father who is our refuge and strength. The white of the egg reminds us of Jesus’ purity. The yoke reminds us of the nourishment that the Holy Spirit brings and that He lives within us. Three parts, yet one egg. A nice eggs-ample don’t you think?

• Make Easter cookies, decorate them and take them to a neighbor who needs encouragement and God’s love.

• Using plastic eggs, make your own resurrection Easter eggs that tell the Easter story with verses or symbols of the story inside.

• Greet each other on Easter Sunday with “Christ is Risen!” and the response of “Christ is Risen indeed!”

• Read the Easter story found in Luke 24.

• Make Easter Rolls together:

2 cups self-rising flour 2 cups softened vanilla ice cream (softened)

Lightly stir ingredients together until just moistened. Line muffin tins with paper liners. Fill ¾ full. Bake at 325 for 20 minutes. Yields 16 -20 muffins. We use these muffins as an Easter tradition at our home and talk about how the rolls symbolically represent Christ, the bread of life. The muffins have two ingredients just as Christ is made up of both God and man. The white color represents his purity, and the flour is self-rising (which represents our Easter celebration of Christ rising from the dead).

Most importantly remember to keep things in perspective as a mom. What is more important - the family looking perfect on Sunday morning yet angry and rushed, or the family enjoy time together and being loving and kind to one another. As the mom, you set the tone for the family. Ask the Lord to prepare your heart. Seek His help to be patient and kind and loving on Easter Sunday, not hurried, angry and yelling. You may want to put a reminder on your mirror for Sunday morning that simply says, “Reflect Christ.” Remember He is with you and will give you what you need day by day.

You may want to let the kids listen to the harp music on my video this week. www.Karolladd.com Harpist Heather Cullins performs. You can visit her website at www.harpandsoul.org

Chasing Eggs

2011-04-11T07:41:00.000-07:00

As we watch our kids run around the yard in delight hunting for eggs, I’m reminded of the pursuits we all seem to hunt in life. It’s almost humorous to watch our kids on a passionate pursuit to fill their baskets with eggs that simply contain cheap candy and meaningless trinkets, yet on the other hand we as mothers are often guilty of the same silly pursuits. Okay, so we don’t have our cute little baskets, but we do have are darling little calendars which we fill with big girl pursuits hoping they will satisfy us or give us significance.

In this springtime of refreshment and renewal, let us consider our pursuits. Instead of chasing meaningless trinkets in order to satisfy our immediate cravings, let’s reconsider what is truly worth pursuing. The golden egg if you will. We can choose which eggs we will chase after, so why not chase after that which is lasting and eternal. Passionately pursue Christ. Paul put it this way, “Since you have been raised with Christ, set your hearts on things above where Christ is seated at the right hand of God. Set your minds on things above, not on earthly things.”

Egg hunts may seem fruitless and unfulfilling in some ways, but there is one hunt that will never disappoint. Love the Lord your God with all your heart, all your mind and all your soul. He is the one prize who satisfies our longings and meets our deepest needs.

Sparkles of Springtime

2011-04-04T14:30:00.000-07:00

Spring is a time of new beginnings. The freshness of the season and the celebration of our risen Lord offer wonderful reasons to enjoy this season.

Consider some of these fun Spring ideas and recipes

Decorate Flower Pots - Purchase several inexpensive clay pots. Place the pots on news paper and spray paint them or hand paint them. Once they dry you can add rickrack, stickers, trim and/or glitter. You can write a Bible verse or a poem on them with sharpie pens.

Pleasant Planting - Visit the local nursery and allow each child to have a designated amount they can spend on a plant. Give them 20 minutes to find the one they want. Younger ones will need your assistance, while older ones can read up or inquire about the care involved with the plant. Take the purchases home and work together to plant them either in the ground or in their newly decorated pots. Teach the kids responsibility in taking care of the plant and watering it regularly.

Clouds - Take a bed roll and pillows outside and lay down and look up. Watch the clouds and point out figures and pictures that you see in them. After a while you may want to come inside and make a cloud picture using blue construction paper, white chalk or cotton balls and glue.

Easter Morning Rolls

2 cups self-rising flour 2 cups softened vanilla ice cream (softened)

Lightly stir ingredients together until just moistened. Line muffin tins with paper liners. Fill ¾ full. Bake at 325 for 20 minutes. Yields 16 -20 muffins. We use these muffins as an Easter tradition at our home and talk about how the rolls symbolically represent Christ, the bread of life. The muffins have two ingredients just as Christ is made up of both God and man. The white color represents his purity, and the flour is self-rising (which represents our Easter celebration of Christ rising from the dead).

Flower Face Sandwiches

Bread

Favorite sandwich ingredients

Flower shaped cookie cutters

Celery or Zucchini strips

Spanish olives (stuffed with pimento)

Small tomatoes or carrots

Make several of your favorite sandwiches then cut them into floral shapes using your cookie cutter. Add veggie strips to be the stalks of the flowers. Create a face on the sandwich using sliced olives, tomatoes and/or carrots.

Ice Cream flower pots

4 – 6 Small Clay flower pots (thoroughly washed)

1 gallon Vanilla or Chocolate Ice Cream

2 cups Chocolate cookie crumbs

Gummy Worms (optional)

4 – 6 Plastic flowers

Soften ice cream. Line bottom of pots with wax paper or foil. Pour softened ice cream into pots (adding gummy worms if desired). Cover top of ice cream with cookie crumbs. Stick one plastic flower in the top of each pot. Place ice cream flower pots in freezer for several hours.

Check out “A Positive Plan for More Fun Less Whining” for more ideas.

Make Every Occasion a Great One

2011-03-28T08:52:00.001-07:00

“Make a decision and then make it a right decision.” This is a phrase my dad would say to us quite often as we were growing up. He added, “Once you have prayed and gathered all the facts, then make a wise decision. Once you have made a decision, don’t look back but move forward through the challenges and make it work.”

“Make every occasion a great occasion.” This was a reminder to make each meeting, event and occasion a positive experience.

Although these simple phrases were intended mainly for business men or women, they helped me to be disciplined and focused. They motivated me to move in a positive direction in my personal life. I think it is wisely used on the home front as well. A fun home celebrates even the simple things. As we celebrate and enjoy each occasion, we build a sense of thankfulness and gratitude for the way the Lord is working in your lives. In this chapter I want to inspire you to make the most of each opportunity you have to celebrate your family and what is happening in your lives.

We can learn to make the best of the chores and homework that we don’t want to do. It not only helps us but also helps our kids to learn to persevere and become more disciplined. Let’s take a look at a few un-fun areas of life and see how we can make the best of them.

• Laundry and cleaning: Get the kids to join in the process as much as possible. Sorting socks can be a contest to find who can find the most matches. Cleaning up toys in the den can become a game of Fill the Basket. Laura Arnold, mother of two, shares what she did with her daughter, “Chelsea helps me with the household chores. It started out when she was about 18 months to 2 years. She would help by removing the lent in the dryer. Now she puts away the silverware and helps me dust with the feather duster. We always make a big deal about how helpful it is when she helps out around the house. There are many benefits from including her such as positive reinforcement, self esteem, sense of accomplishment, and spending time with Mom.”

• Preparing dinner: Take a moment to write out dinner-time tasks; one on each index card. Put them in a jar or bowl and have each child pick out one (if you have a wide span of ages you may need to color code the cards so they pick one that is an age appropriate task. Tasks can include but are not limited to: setting the table, folding napkins, stirring sauce, chopping veggies (older kids), grating cheese (older kids), saying the blessing, clearing the table, cleaning dishes. The cards can be used over and over again for each dinner.

• Homework: Prepare a special homework station complete with stapler, sharpener, extra pens, index cards, pencils and paper. I like to buy inexpensive colorful office supplies and organizers so the kids have a fresh and motivating place to work. One year I found purple plastic roller carts on sale, so I just rolled the homework station into the kitchen when it was time to work. Try to have a good nutritious snack ready for the kids when they come home, so they can enjoy it while they get to work. Sit down with them and help as needed when they are young. Offer a small reward when they finish their homework. It may be watching a favorite show, calling a friend, reading a book or time on the computer. If your child has been diligent to work on his homework, you may want to allow him to do his reading homework in a different cozy place like a couch or lounge chair. When I know that my kid’s homework level is extremely stressful, I’ll rub their back while they are working or make them their favorite snack.

• Bedtime: Make bedtime a special time to listen to your kids and let them know you love them. Share a word or two of encouragement about things you noticed about them during the day. Pray together. You may even want to tell them a short Bible verse that was meaningful to you during the day or read a devotional. My friend Amy shares, “At bedtime, when the kids were little, we would always end our tucking-in time with repeating the words from the wonderful little book Love You Forever (by Robert Munsch) to each other. It goes like this, "I'll love you forever, I'll like you for always. As long as I'm living, my baby (I would say) & my mommy (they would say) you'll be." We would add, "Good night sleep tight, don't let the bed bugs bite." Then we would blow kisses to each other and pretend to catch them with our hand on our cheek before I closed their doors. It was a precious time and something we say now and then even to this day.”

• Bath Time: Giving the kids a bath doesn’t have to be difficult. It can be a wonderful time for interaction and play as well as getting cleaned up. Always be on the look out for a precious toy or water proof book that you can use during tub time. Foam soap or a bottle of bubbles can make the ordinary bath time a lot more enjoyable. As you are washing the kids’ hair, pause while you have them lathered up and create funny hair dos (show them how they look in a hand mirror). Perhaps you want to reserve a few songs or a special sing along CDs that the kids sing while in the tub. Consider songs and stories about water or fountains or splashing. Sink or Float can also be a fun tub game as you test out different household objects to guess what will sink or what will float. Remember safety first, always check water temperature and never leave young kids unsupervised.

• Sick Child: If you have a sick child home from school, allow it to be an occasion to grow closer and bond together. Bring them soup or crackers and soda on a tray with a flower or a funny picture to cheer them up. Rub their back and tell them stories about when you were young. Read some of their favorite books to them. Listen to them. Play a drawing game where you draw on a sketch pad or wipe off board following their specific directions (Draw a line on the right hand side of the page. Draw squiggly lines across the bottom,” etc.). They can’t tell you what it is supposed to be until the picture is complete. It’s always fun to laugh about the creation as it never quite looks like what the person envisioned in their mind.

This blog is from a portion of my book, A Positive Plan for More Fun, Less Whining (Thomas Nelson Publishers)

Kite Weather

2011-03-23T15:13:00.000-07:00

March is a wonderful time to enjoy the change in weather and the cool breeze of Spring. How about going out and flying a kite this week? It’s been a while right? Consider the following ideas:

Make your own kite. Did you know there is a whole website dedicated to making kites? Go to: http://www.howtomakeandflykites.com

Make a family trip to the arboretum or a city park or garden.

Read more books about kites:

The Most Beautiful Kite In The World by Andrea Spalding and Leslie Elizabeth Watts

The Kite Festival by Leyla Torres

Write your own story together about the adventures of a kite. Name the kite and draw pictures of its adventures flying around the world.

Have a Family Devotional: Read Isaiah 40:25-31

25 “To whom will you compare me?

Or who is my equal?” says the Holy One.

26 Lift up your eyes and look to the heavens:

Who created all these?

He who brings out the starry host one by one

and calls forth each of them by name.

Because of his great power and mighty strength,

not one of them is missing.

27 Why do you complain, Jacob?

Why do you say, Israel,

“My way is hidden from the LORD;

my cause is disregarded by my God”?

28 Do you not know?

Have you not heard?

The LORD is the everlasting God,

the Creator of the ends of the earth.

He will not grow tired or weary,

and his understanding no one can fathom.

29 He gives strength to the weary

and increases the power of the weak.

30 Even youths grow tired and weary,

and young men stumble and fall;

31 but those who hope in the LORD

will renew their strength.

They will soar on wings like eagles;

they will run and not grow weary,

they will walk and not be faint.

Talk about how wonderful it is to know the God who created the heavens and the earth. He gives us strength. Just as an eagle is able to soar as they get their lift from the storm, and a kite gets its lift from the wind, so the Lord give us strength in time of need.

Talking to Your Kids about the Tragedy in Japan

2011-03-12T13:16:00.000-08:00

When we see tragedy and suffering in the world we cannot ignore it, but we must handle it gently as we talk with our children. Here are some thoughts on how to wisely discuss what we are learning about the devastation in Japan.

• Pray together with your children for the people and the rescue efforts in Japan.

• You may want to discuss a few of the facts about what has happened in Japan and allow them to ask you any questions.

• Calm your children’s fears by reassuring them that God is with us through the difficult times of our lives. I would encourage you to be an example of peace and trust in the Lord. You may also want to minimize the amount of newsfeed you watch with the kids in the room as they begin to internalize the fear that this could happen to them.

• Read several of the Psalms together and talk about God’s care for His people. I suggest Psalm 23, 27, 34, 37 and 46. Talk about how we may not know or understand why difficult things happen, but we can trust that God will never leave us alone through the challenges or tragedies of life.
• Talk together about ways you can reach out and help those in need. I recommend going to www.WorldVision.org to donate something to the relief effort.

Psalm 46:1 "God is our refuge and strength, an ever-present help in trouble."

The Shamrock

2011-03-07T10:59:00.000-08:00

As a young school girl, March 17th always meant the day we could pinch the kids who didn’t wear green! Now it seems to be all about leprechauns, green beer and shamrocks. As moms, we can bring a positive perspective to the day and teach several life lessons in the process. Last week we looked at the life of St. Patrick, but this week I want to point out the purpose of the shamrocks and why they have become the symbol for the day.

Patrick used the shamrock to explain the Trinity, one leaf, three parts; one God, three persons. Picture Patrick teaching or preaching in the open air about God and the Trinity. Since the clover is so common in the Irish country sides, I can imagine him reaching down and plucking a shamrock from the grass growing at his feet and showing it to his congregation. Just as the shamrock is one leaf with three parts, so God is one entity with three Persons. The shamrock was a sacred plant to the druids, and three was a mythical number in Drudic religious practice, and Patrick was probably well aware of the significance of the shamrock to them. He creatively used it as a teaching tool so they could relate the young clovers to the essential truths of the Trinity.

The shamrock has been associated with him and the Irish since that time. As moms, we too can use the shamrock to teach our kids about the Trinity. I love how Patrick used teachable moments and tools all around him. Let’s do the same as we celebrate St. Patrick’s Day. I encourage you to do a little art project with your kids, helping them draw a shamrock on a big piece of paper (you may need to show them an example) and them have them label each leaf, Father, Son, Spirit. Above the shamrock write, “The Trinity, God Three in One.”

Remind your kids that Patrick was a humble, pious, gentle man, whose love and total devotion to and trust in God should be a shining example to each of us. His love for God, his perseverance through tough times, and his commitment to spreading the gospel offer inspiration to us all.

Positive Life Principles from the Life of St. Patrick

2011-03-01T14:41:00.000-08:00

St. Patrick’s Day offers a wonderful opportunity to teach our children about a great man of faith. It saddens me to see the secularization of this holiday, as it can be a great day to learn positive principles for Life. Here’s a brief overview of Patrick’s life which I encourage you to share with your kids:

Patrick was born around 385 in Scotland, probably Kilpatrick. His parents were Calpurnius and Conchessa, who were Romans living in Britian in charge of the colonies.

As a boy of fourteen or so, he was captured during a raiding party and taken to Ireland as a slave to herd and tend sheep. Ireland at this time was a land of Druids and pagans. He learned the language and practices of the people who held him.

During his captivity, he turned to God in prayer. He wrote

"The love of God and his fear grew in me more and more, as did the faith, and my soul was rosed, so that, in a single day, I have said as many as a hundred prayers and in the night, nearly the same." "I prayed in the woods and on the mountain, even before dawn. I felt no hurt from the snow or ice or rain."

Patrick's captivity lasted until he was twenty, when he escaped after having a dream from God in which he was told to leave Ireland by going to the coast. There he found some sailors who took him back to Britian, where he reunited with his family.

He had another dream in which the people of Ireland were calling out to him "We beg you, holy youth, to come and walk among us once more."

He began his studies for the priesthood. He was ordained by St. Germanus, the Biship of Auxerre, whom he had studied under for years.

Later, Patrick was ordained a bishop, and was sent to take the Gospel to Ireland. He arrived in Ireland March 25, 433, at Slane. One legend says that he met a chieftain of one of the tribes, who tried to kill Patrick. Patrick converted Dichu (the chieftain) after he was unable to move his arm until he became friendly to Patrick.

Patrick began preaching the Gospel throughout Ireland, converting many. He and his disciples preached and converted thousands and began building churches all over the country. Kings, their families, and entire kingdoms converted to Christianity when hearing Patrick's message.

Patrick preached and converted all of Ireland for 40 years. He worked many miracles and wrote of his love for Ireland in Confessions. After years of living in poverty, traveling and enduring much suffering he died March 17, 461. (Information from www.Catholic.org)

You can see that Patrick was a man of great faith. His sufferings and trials brought him to place of great faith in the Lord. Think of the life lessons learned through this mans life.

• God is with us even in our darkest hour.

• God sees our situation and has a plan.

• God uses suffering for a greater purpose.

• Find Your Hope in Him.

• Follow God’s direction.

• Share God’s message of truth and hope wherever He takes you.

Next week we will talk about the significance of the Shamrock.

Positive Encouragement from Washington's Mom

2011-02-19T15:51:00.000-08:00

“Remember that God is our only sure trust. To Him, I commend you… My son, neglect not the duty of secret prayer.” These are the words of George Washington’s mother, Mrs. Mary Washington, as George left home to begin what was a life-long service to his country.

It is hard to calculate the power of influence Mary Washington had on her son, but this we know, George Washington was a man who honored God with his words and his actions and he attributed his mother for much of his success. Here’s what he had to say about her, “My mother was the most beautiful woman I ever saw. All that I am I owe to my mother. I attribute all my success in life to the moral intellectual and physical education I received from her.

Widowed when George was only 11, Mary was a devoted Christian. Here’s what one historian had to say. “In addition to instruction in the bible and Prayer Book, which were her daily companions, it was Mr. Washington’s custom to read some helpful books to her children at home, and in this way they received much valuable instruction.”

Helping our Children to Soar

2011-02-14T09:57:00.000-08:00

“One can never consent to creep when one feels the impulse to soar.”

It’s easy for kids to become discouraged by what they can’t do. As parents we must guide them down the path and help them discover what they can do. It’s our job to encourage them to reach for their potential.

This weekend I had the privilege of hanging out with some truly inspirational people. General Chuck Yeager and his wife Victoria (www.VictoriaYeager.com) have become good friends as we see them each year at the DRI Quail hunt and fundraiser in Abilene, Texas. DRI stands for Disability Resources Inc. and offers homes and vocational opportunities for special needs adults. It is a tremendous ministry and allows the residents to rise to their potential.

Just as General Yeager inspires us to soar to greater heights, so the “folks” (as they are lovingly referred to at DRI) inspire us to use the gifts and talents God has given us. The staff at DRI focuses on what the folks can do, instead of what they aren’t able to accomplish. The folks help make wonderful items such as chocolates, sauces and bread and butter jalapenos (my favorite!) to name a few.

Another way DRI helps the folks explore their potential is by encouraging them to play in the hand bell choir called The Bell Peppers. Cathy, the director, builds on what the folks can do, as she lovingly teaches them to play a variety of songs. The music is a sweet sound to my ears. Check out their video which I posted on Facebook.

The message is clear: Intentionally look for ways to draw out your kids magnificent potential!

Snow and Motherhood

2011-02-05T11:54:00.000-08:00

Yesterday I went for a walk in the snow. We had six inches here in Dallas, which is quite an oddity for us. I had to meet a friend and yet was a little concerned about driving, so I decided to put my snow boots on and walk. It was great fun to trudge through the fresh fallen snow. It occurred to me that although the snow brought challenges, it also brought beauty. I had to re-adjust some of my plans a little, but I made it through the snow. In the same way, motherhood has its challenges, but it also has its joys. We may need to re-adjust our plans here and there and forge through some challenges, but there is also great beauty in being a mom.

The point is, we need to focus on the beauty and not on what annoys us. Keep your eye on the fact that God has given you precious young ones and has also given you the significant and important responsibility of raising them. Yes, it will be challenging at times. Put your snow boots on, stop complaining and start focusing on the beauty.

Motherhood makes us into stronger, more self-less and creative women. I must say, I’m a better person because I am a mom. Rise up to the challenge, seeking God’s strength and direction. The apostle James said, “Consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance. Let perseverance finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything. If any of you lacks wisdom, you should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to you.”

Winter can be glorious. Embrace it! For more thoughts on winterizing your life, sign up for my monthly newsletter on my website: www.karolladd.com or watch my video on facing adversity.

Tiger Mom vs. Positive Mom

2011-01-31T10:43:00.000-08:00

Both media and moms are abuzz about the newly released book entitled Battle Hymn of the Tiger Mom by Amy Chua. In her book, Chua extols the power of parenting the way the Chinese do it through strict, uncompromising values. In her memoir she pits the Chinese style of parenting against what she considers the ineffective and self-indulging Western style of parenting. Granted, we do not want to raise wimpy, self-centered kids, but on the other hand we do not want to create overly-driven, stressed-out perfectionist either. As the author of the Power of a Positive Mom, I have my concerns about Chua’s relentless insistence toward perfection and her demanding (and almost brutal) methods of parenting. Certainly there is a healthy balance.

The goal of a positive mom is to raise kids who grow to be well-adjusted, hard-working adults, who are full of integrity and give back to society. By caring about the hearts and minds of their children, positive moms help their kids learn the worth and value of every individual. A tiger mom may raise over-the-top driven kids who achieve straight A’s, but at what cost? How do we define true success in parenting anyway?

My desire is to raise kids who make a positive contribution to society whether they are at the top of the corporate ladder or serving in the housing projects in Waco, Texas - which is precisely what one of my daughters is doing as the founder of Waco Arts Initiative. My other daughter faithfully volunteers at a Crisis Pregnancy center in downtown Houston while balancing a very active, full-time job. I’m proud of both of my daughters because they are using their gifts and talents with excellence to serve their community in meaningful ways.

Life is not about what I can achieve to perfection or what I can drive my kids to achieve. Life isn’t perfect and neither are people. There is more to life than being at the top. True success is using our gifts and talents to make a positive difference in this world.

God is our Provider

2011-01-31T08:00:00.000-08:00

“Faith is a living, daring confidence in God’s grace. It is so sure and certain that a man could stake his life on it a thousand times.” Martin Luther

This is a devotional for the mom who needs to know she is not alone. A story of God’s provision.

II Kings 4:1-7: One day the widow of one of Elisha’s fellow prophets came to Elisha and cried out to him, “my husband who served you is dead, and you know how he feared the Lord. But now a creditor has come, threatening to take my two sons as slaves.” What can I do to help you?” Elisha asked. “Tell me, what do you have in the house?” “Nothing at all, except a flask of olive oil,” she replied. And Elisha said, “Borrow as many empty jars as you can from your friends and neighbors. Then go into your house with your sons and shut the door behind you. Pour olive oil from your flask into the jars, setting the jars aside as they are filled.” So she did as she was told. Her sons brought many jars to her, and she filled one after another. Soon every container was full to the brim! “Bring me another jar,” she said to one of her sons. “There aren’t any more!” he told her. And then the olive oil stopped flowing. When she told the man of God what had happened, he said to her, “Now sell the olive oil and pay your debts, and there will be enough money left over to support you and your sons.”

Mom’s Reflection: What a blessed picture of God’s tender care for His people! The poor widow had nothing but a flask of olive oil (used for cooking, for lamps and for fuel). All that was required of the widow was faith and obedience. God took what little she had to offer and blessed her faithful obedience with overflowing abundance. Think of the testimony this was to her sons as well. Don’t you wonder if they were thinking, “If only we had gone out to find more jars?”

There are many wonderful truths to glean as mothers from this short story. We are comforted to see God’s care for this God-fearing household, and it serves as a reminder that God is our provider as well. Although the widow asked Elisha for help, she also faithfully did as she was told. Faith in God’s provision for us doesn’t mean we sit back and do nothing. He calls us to be responsible and obedient to his direction. Finally we see that the Lord took what little this woman had and multiplied it abundantly. As moms, we may think we have little to offer, but the Lord can take our simple love and desire and multiply it into a blessing for our homes.

From The Power of a Positive Mom Devotional and Journal

How to Raise a Whiner (part 2)

2011-01-22T19:10:00.000-08:00

Last week we looked at a humorous approach to how to raise whiners in hopes that we will actually do the opposite of these lessons in our own homes. Here’s a continuation of last week’s blog.

Lesson Three: Grumble and Complain About Your Problems

As we mentioned in the previous lesson, kids learn best if they can watch your own example, so if you really want a bumper crop of complainers you will need to complain on a regular basis. You know the old routine, “This restaurant never gets my food right.” “The music at church is too contemporary.” “The coach doesn’t rotate the players enough.” “The neighbors won’t keep their yard clean.” “The school isn’t training their teachers properly.” “No one is ever sensitive to my feelings.” “If only this or that.”

It’s pretty standard procedure for most of us. Just be sure your kids don’t hear you expressing thankfulness for anything or they may learn gratitude (a definite disadvantage for a whiner). And be very careful that your kids do not pick up on the times when you choose to look at the good in a situation. Then they may begin overlooking negatives and seeking out the positives in a circumstance or a person. By all means don’t let the kids focus on the positives or they may miss the negative stuff altogether.

Lesson Four: Shield them from Difficulties or Pain

Guard your kids carefully so that they never get a difficult teacher or lose a tryout or have a coach who won’t play them on the A team. If your children begin to feel any sort of disappointment or pain, pacify them immediately by buying them something or blaming it on someone else. If you really want to go the extra mile, step in there and yell at the coach or spread rumors about how bad the teacher is and try to get your precious angel moved to another class.

Pain and challenges in a child’s life may lead to qualities such as strength, perseverance and compassion toward others, which are certainly qualities that are unbecoming of a whiner. The old adage of the advantages to learning from “the school of hard knocks of life” is only a crock (at least you need to keep telling yourself that). Getting one’s own way without any challenges or difficulties teaches much more valuable lessons such as the “me first” and “I deserve” attitudes.

Lesson Five: Blame Others

“It’s okay, it’s not your fault.” This age old concept helps our kids advance to a higher level of complaint and moves them into the category of “I couldn’t possibly be wrong.” Fortunately the blame game allows them to get away with just about anything they want. For example an outburst of anger at the restaurant isn’t little Ashley’s fault, it was the waitress’ fault because she didn’t bring out the right flavor of ice cream. Or “Sammy grabbed the toy out of the other little boy’s hands, but it was because the little kid wouldn’t share it with him.”

Blaming others offers a child an entitlement for whining and delivers it on a silver platter with his or her name engraved on it. The mere hint of personal responsibility would begin to strike at the very core of complaining. Keep that self-centeredness in tact by steering clear of any sort of self-discipline or self-sacrifice. Forgiveness and understanding of other people’s faults is out of the question and would only lead to your child showing kindness or compassion.

After reading these lessons, I hope you are inspired to do quite the opposite and begin pouring positive principles into your children such as thankfulness, responsibility and service. Help your kids begin to look at the good and the hope in each situation and begin by doing it yourself. My hope is that you will raise thoughtful, God-fearing kids rather than whiners. Keep working toward that end with God’s help. The above lessons are from my book, A Positive Plan for Creating More Fun, Less Whining.

How to Raise a Whiner

2011-01-15T13:31:00.000-08:00

At this point in my life I haven’t met any parents who actually want their kids to be whiners. Very few people intentionally invite the annoying sounds of “I want…” or the irritating complaint of “Why do I have to?”

So how does it happen? How do well-meaning parents gradually find themselves with sniveling, whining, negative kids? It’s really quite simple. The truth is that whining comes somewhat naturally to us all; we rarely need formal training to add it to our attitude arsenal. On the other hand, it takes determination to raise content kids. By taking the approach of “How to raise a whiner” I hope to help each of us as parents recognize some of the possible ways we inadvertently allow grumbling and complaining to grow in our children.

The tough truth is that whining kids grow into rather unattractive adults. It is not only in your family’s best interest, but in the interest of society at large that you weed the whining from your family garden. Your friends and extended family will be grateful. And of course your kid’s future spouses will thank you too! Here’s a tongue in cheek look at how to grow a good strong grumbler. I’ll start with two lessons this week and then continue with three more in my blog next week.

Lesson One: Give into the Whining

You’ve had a hard day and you just don’t want to hear it any more. It certainly is easier to give into the nagging than to say “no” to your child and deal with the consequences of crying and screaming. So go ahead. Give in. Give him what he wants. It will make it easier for you to give in the next time he whines for something, and that time is probably just around the corner.

Careful now. If in a weak moment you decide to tell your kids “no” or “wait your turn,” they may learn qualities like patience and self-discipline. If your goal is to raise a whiner, those positive qualities will never do. Immediate gratification and giving into desires is what you are after. Your best strategy for raising a whiner is to reason with your little grumbler and eventually give in. It will fortify his resolve to continue his demands, and it will help him develop stronger negotiating and manipulation techniques.

Lesson Two: Scream Back At them

“STOP IT!!! I DON’T WANT TO HEAR ANOTHER WORD!!!! JUST BE QUIET!”

Now your child knows she has your attention! And that’s just what she wanted; your attention. As you scream, your child will temporarily stop whining and you can feel great about weed-wacking the problem, even though the roots of whining are still there. The good news is you have taught your kids two indelible lessons in the process. First you have shown them that screaming is a very powerful tool. There’s a good chance they will follow your example and use the power of a scream next time they want something.

Secondly, the loud attention you give to whining teaches your kids a good solid way to get your attention. Now mind you they don’t consciously plan this out, and they don’t necessarily enjoy your loud screaming, but next time they feel they need your attention they know just how to get it. Whine, whine, whine and boy do you give them your full attention.

This blog was an excerpt from my book, A Positive Plan for Creating More Fun and Less Whining.
Next week we will continue with three more lessons on How to Raise a Whiner.

Everything Can't Taste Like Chocolate Cake

2011-01-10T08:03:00.001-08:00

My friend Leslie has a funny saying when it comes to whining and tough times. It began when her daughter Amanda wouldn’t eat her vegetables, but she loved chocolate cake. “Why do I have to eat my vegetables? Amanda would complain.

Finally, in exasperation Leslie said, “Amanda, every food can’t taste like chocolate cake!” The saying stuck, and now their family uses the phrase as a reminder that sometimes life is hard. It can’t always be fun and games. Sometimes we have to do the hard things.

The apostle Paul said, “Do everything without complaining and arguing.” Whining seems to come naturally for our kids. Our goal is to help them pray more and whine less, encouraging them to see the growth and good even in our difficulties. It begins with our own example. Our kids need to observe us choosing to look at the possibilities instead of fretting or complaining.

Next week I’ll share, “How to Raise a Whiner” from my book, A Positive Plan for creating More Fun, less Whining

Helping our Kids Set Goals

2011-01-03T08:14:00.000-08:00

"What lies behind us and what lies before us are tiny matters compared to what lies within us."

Anonymous

At an early age I began setting goals. Read my tips for you and your kids at my Positive Mom blog: www.Karolladd.com

Joy for the Season

2010-11-29T11:43:00.000-08:00

During the Holidays many of our fondest memories are made in the kitchen as we gather together to bake, eat and fellowship. This month, I'm featuring ideas and activities to do with your kids in the kitchen. Go to my website at: www.Karolladd.com and click on blogs to read my weekly update. Please feel free to post your favorite kitchen ideas here on this blog.

Demonstrating Thanksgiving

2010-11-22T13:30:00.000-08:00

Our own example offers the most effective teaching tool when it comes to teaching gratitude to our kids. We can try to pound the lesson of thankfulness into our children's hearts and minds, but when we demonstrate a grateful heart with our words and actions they catch the lesson and keep it. So how do we demonstrate gratitude? Here are three ideas to get you started:

1. Tell your kids how thankful you are for them. That's right, be specific and tell each child several of the qualities you really appreciate about them. It's something our kids need to hear (as opposed to nagging all the time) and they need to experience how it feels to be on the receiving end of kind and grateful thoughts. Although we assume our kids know how thankful we are for them, they need to hear it specifically expressed now and then.

2. Speak in a grateful way about the rest of your family members (that means your husband as well as your extended family). Instead of complaining about aunt Nancy's conversation skills or her awful sweet potato casserole, talk about how thankful you are for her gifts or talents or character qualities. Let's demonstrate to our children how to look for the good in others, rather than what is wrong with people.

3. Take time to stop and thank the Lord for His blessings. When you recognize God has allowed something good to come into your life, take a moment to say, "Kid's I just want to stop and thank the Lord for His kindness." Then ask the kids to join you in prayer as you thank the Lord. Even when things aren't going so perfect, you can always thank God for His presence and His help in time of need. I'm reminded of the story of the ten lepers. Ten were healed, but only one came back to say thank you. I want to be like that one who said thanks.

This week, take some time to allow gratitude to fill your thoughts and hearts and allow it to overflow from your mouth. You are never so beautiful as when you are living a grateful life. Show others what a thankful heart looks like as you celebrate this week with family and friends.
I'm thankful for you! Keep shining His light.

Praying Friends

2010-11-15T08:26:00.001-08:00

"Rich is the person who has a praying friend." Janice Hughes

This past weekend I traveled to Eugene, Oregon (home of the #1 ranked U of O Ducks no less) to film a set of videos to go along with my upcoming book entitled A Woman's Secret to Confident Living. It was wonderful to be there with my dear friends at Harvest House Publisher as well as the crew at Chambers Productions.

Filming six videos in one weekend is a task beyond my capabilities, and so I asked a group of friends to pray for me. What a blessing to receive emails and texts and calls from these dear prayer warriors letting me know they were lifting me up before the Father. It gave me encouragement and strength. God so richly answered their prayers.

We all need praying friends. The powerful apostle Paul even recognized his need for prayer. In his letter to the Colossians he wrote, "Devote yourselves to prayer, being watchful and thankful. And pray for us, too, that God may open a door for our message, so that we may proclaim the mystery of Christ....Pray that I proclaim it clearly as I should."

As we go about the work God has given us, let us not neglect to ask for prayer from our praying friends. We are in a wonderful place when we recognize our need for God, and as we cast our cares upon Him. Instead of saying, "I can do it myself," we ought to humbly proclaim, "Father only by your grace and strength can I accomplish this work." Invite your friends to join into God's work as they pray for you, and you in turn pray for them.

The Beauty of Loyalty

2010-11-08T08:16:00.000-08:00

"We are all in the same boat in a stormy sea, and we owe each other a terrible loyalty." G.K. Chesterton.

Loyalty is a rare commodity in today's world. When the going gets tough most people get going. Now and then it is healthy for us to do a loyalty self-check. We can ask ourselves, "Am I loyal to the people in my life through my words and actions." "Do I speak kindly of others behind their back, or do I use my opportunities to tell juicy stories?" "Do I guard my mouth when it comes to my kids and their issues?" Let's be aware of our level of loyalty and ask the Lord to help us guard our mouths and only use our words to be kind and build up others. Our kids learn how to be a loyal friend as they watch our kindness in action.

"There is one element that is worth its weight in gold and that is loyalty. It will cover a multitude of weaknesses." Philip Armour

How Devoted are You?

2010-11-01T09:21:00.000-07:00

This past weekend I went to the Baylor UT game down in Austin, Texas and cheered the Bears onto victory! Although I was sitting on the UT side, surrounded by devoted fans dressed in orange, I still loyally shouted for the green and gold. It's amazing what we will do when we are devoted to our team.

The apostle Paul talked about devotion in his letter to the Colossians. "Devote yourselves to prayer being watchful and thankful." Imagine if we had the same devotion toward prayer as we do for sports teams. Devotion to prayer looks a little different than wildly shouting at a game. Devotion to prayer means a heart and mind that continues to look to God for strength and help. Being devoted to prayer means we have a quiet dependance on God instead of solely depending on ourselves.

As moms, let us grow in our devotion to praying for our needs as well as the needs in our family. Spurgeon said, "Sometimes we think we are too busy to pray. That is a great mistake, for praying is a saving of time." When we give our day and our cares to the Lord, we don't waste precious time in worry and the what ifs. May we continually see the Lord to guide our paths moment by moment each day.

His Power and Glory

2010-10-25T08:15:00.000-07:00

“God is not waiting to show us strong in his behalf, but himself strong in our behalf. That makes a lot or difference. He is not out to demonstrate what we can do but what he can do.” Vance Havner

Key Scripture: Judges 7:2 - 4
The Lord said to Gideon, “You have too many warriors with you. If I let all of you fight the Midianites, the Israelites will boast to me that they saved themselves by their own strength. Therefore, tell the people, ‘Whoever is timid or afraid may leave and go home.’ Twenty-two thousand of them went home, leaving only ten thousand who were willing to fight. But the Lord told Gideon, “There are still too many!”

Mom’s Reflection:
The super-mom syndrome seems to run rampant in our culture. A super-mom does it all. She is the protector of her children, the coordinator of the overloaded family calendar, and the all sufficient one to meet her kid’s needs. The super-mom believes the livelihood and success of her children’s lives depends on her careful planning, preparation and follow-through. She is self-sufficient.
God calls us to be God-sufficient. Gideon started out with a super-army, yet God was not looking for the army that could “do it all.” He wanted a humble army that would look to Him and recognize the victory was found in God, not in self-sufficiency. He eventually whittled down Gideon’s army to 300 men. God granted the victory and the honor went to Him. God isn’t looking for super-moms who can do it all on their own. He is looking for moms who look to Him for guidance, wisdom, direction and strength. If super-mom’s kids turn out great, then she gets the glory. When children are raised under God’s strength and guidance, then the glory is His.

Prayer:
All sufficient God, I praise you for you are all power and all wisdom. I recognize that I can’t do it all. I praise you that you can. Thank you for loving and caring for my family. Lead me to be responsible, wise and strong. Help my children to grow to be well-balanced adults, so that you may be glorified. Thank you that you are the protector of our family and the guardian of our souls. In Jesus Name, Amen.

“We are not to think that, where we see no possibility, God sees none.” Marcus Dods

This week I will choose to see the God-possibilities, instead of my inabilities.
This week I will choose to be God-sufficient rather than self-sufficient.
This week I will choose to give God the glory and not myself.
This week I will: _________________________________________
Further Reading: Judges 7

This blog entry is an excerpt from my book The Power of a Positive Mom Devotional (Simon & Schuster)

Courage and Commitment

2010-10-18T10:17:00.000-07:00

“Courage is not simply one of the virtues, but the form of every virtue at the testing point.” C.S. Lewis

Joshua 1:7-9
Be strong and very courageous. Obey all the laws Moses gave you. Do not turn away from them, and you will be successful in everything you do. Study this book of the Law continually. Meditate on it day and night so you may be sure to obey all that is written in it. Only then will you succeed. I command you – be strong and courageous! Do not be afraid or discouraged. For the Lord your God is with you wherever you go.

Reflection:
Sometimes I don’t feel so strong and courageous. Worries and fears can creep up and take the place of strength and peace. In our passage for this week we read that Joshua was about to face a fear-filled task. He was chosen by God to lead the Israelites into the Promised Land. God didn’t suggest, but rather commanded that Joshua be strong and courageous. God also encouraged him by saying, “I am with you wherever you go.” What a powerful statement! We may not know the road up ahead, but we do know that God will be with us every step of the way.
God also told Joshua to obey all the laws of Moses. Study and meditate on them continually. It takes courage to stand up for what is right and to obey God. We want to teach our kids this type of courage. We are strengthened and enriched as we study and meditate on the truths of God’s word. God’s word not only tells us how to live, but it reminds us that God is with us. The end result is that our children will be blessed with a strong and courageous mother who is not afraid of the future because she knows the Lord is with her and she walks in obedience to Him.

Prayer: Great and Mighty Lord, I praise you that you are with me always. You guard me and protect me like a Good Shepherd. Thank you for your presence. Keep me from being overcome with fear; fill me with peace instead. Help me to be strong and courageous in my role as a mother. Thank you for your Word and the truth that it has to transform my life. In Jesus name, Amen.

Perfect Prescription for Peace

2010-10-11T15:41:00.000-07:00

Mommy anxiety hits us all at one time or another. Whether it is a sick child, troubles with friends or challenges in the classroom, we can all relate to the temptation to worry about our kids. Today I invited my friend Caroline Boykin to share her prescription for peace. Here's Caroline...

Her text message read, “I have mono.” My heart sank. My oldest daughter, Amy, a freshman in college, felt crummy over the weekend. My husband and I encouraged her to go to the campus clinic Monday morning. We were thinking common cold, perhaps flu…but mono. UGG! Through broken sobs, she relayed her doctor’s orders: Good nutrition and 6 weeks of complete rest. The nutrition part, not a problem. The 6 weeks of rest, not a possibility! This was my musician, rock-climbing, intramural sports-loving, on-the-go-go-go college student, Amy.

I heard her disappointment and attempted to encourage. Everything would be OK. Not to worry. Her favorite homemade chicken soup was on the way. But between our conversations, my positive words did little to convince my own discouraged heart that this situation was anything other than awful. I inventoried all the great activities Amy had going on at the time (in addition to school work!) and declared silently in my heart: this timing couldn’t be worse.

Oh yes, I knew that God was in control, that He had my precious daughter securely in the palm of His mighty hand. But even so, my “mom anxiety meter” was rapidly escalating, fed by a litany of worries, fear, sadness and helplessness. Late that night, I e-mailed a few dear friends to pray (Karol was one!).

Waking up the next morning, a new list of anxiety-producing concerns for my daughter came rushing to my mind…only to be met quietly, yet powerfully, by simple memory verses I’d learned as a young girl:

Rest in the LORD, and wait patiently for him.
Psalm 37:7 KJV

And then another:
Jesus answered, “It is written:
‘Man does not live on bread alone,
but on every word that comes from the mouth of God.’”
Matthew 4:4 NIV

Hmmm. Those verses continued to resonate throughout the morning as I made the 2 hour drive to Amy’s college. And then it became crystal clear. I had a bad case of peace-suppressing “Awefulizing” (just as contagious as mono). God’s remedy for relieving my anxiety and restoring a healthy perspective – good nutrition from His word and complete rest (reliance) in Him. The Holy Spirit wielded the Scripture hidden in my heart to successfully combat my discouragement.
As my mind was renewed, my spirit experienced a deep peace that God’s presence and grace would carry my daughter through this illness and that He would Masterfully use it for good (Romans 8:28).

Good nutrition from God’s word and complete rest in Him. It just might be the perfect prescription for what ails you today.

Caroline Boykin is a frequent MOPS speaker and author of The Well-Versed Family: Raising Kids of Faith through (Do-Able) Scripture Memory.

For more information on how you can give your child the treasure of God’s word tucked inside his heart, visit Caroline at her website, http://www.wellversedfamily.com/.

Living Loved

2010-10-04T10:31:00.001-07:00

“God does not love us because we are valuable, but we are valuable because God loves us.”
Martin Luther

There are times in our daily routines when we can tend to feel a little less than loveable as moms. I want to encourage you today with a devotional from the Bible. This is what the Lord said to His precious people, the Israelites many years ago:

“The Lord did not choose you and lavish his love on you because you were larger or greater than other nations, for you were the smallest of all nations! It was simply because the Lord loves you, and because he was keeping the oath he had sworn to your ancestors. That is why the Lord rescued you with such amazing power from your slavery under Pharaoh in Egypt. Understand, therefore, that the Lord your God is indeed God. He is the faithful God who keeps his covenant for a thousand generations and constantly loves those who love him and obey his commands.” Deuteronomy 7:7 -9,

Mom’s Reflection:
What a beautiful love note to God’s people. As followers of Christ, we are His precious and beloved people. He lavishes his love on us, not because we have achieved any great status or because we are the most efficient mom in the world. No, he loves us because we are his people, adopted into his family through faith in Christ. He is faithful to keep his covenant and constantly loves those who love him. Aren’t you blessed to know that the powerful God of all creation, faithfully loves you and me?
As believers in Christ, we are his treasured possession, and He showers His goodness and grace upon us. On days when you feel less than lovely because you’ve yelled at the kids or become overwhelmed with activities, remember that God’s love is faithful and abundant. It is not based on your performance, but on His grace. Feel His warm embrace and know that you are completely loved by him, and you can not step out of that love. When we relish his love toward us, we can more easily pour that love out on others.

Mom’s Prayer:
Loving and Faithful Heavenly Father, I praise you for your redeeming love and mercy. Praise you that you are the High King of Heaven and yet you want to have a relationship with me. Thank you for being faithful and kind. Thank you for allowing me to be a part of your family. I love you. Help me to share your love with others. In Jesus Name, Amen.
This devotional is an excerpt from my book The Power of a Positive Mom Devotional. This week on my website, I share a message about God’s love to us and through us. Watch my video at www.PositiveLifePrinciples.com.

Grumbling vs. Gratitude

2010-09-27T09:53:00.000-07:00

“Gratitude takes three forms: a feeling in the heart, an expression in words, and a giving in return.” John Wanamaker

Numbers 14:26 – 30
Then the Lord said to Moses and Aaron, How long will this wicked nation complain about me? I have heard everything the Israelites have been saying. Now tell them this: As surely as I live, I will do to you the very things I heard you say. I, the Lord, have spoken! You will all die here in this wilderness! Because you complained against me, none of you who are twenty years old or older and were counted in the census will enter the land I swore to give you. The only exceptions will be Caleb… and Joshua.

Mom’s Reflection:
Complain, complain, complain. It became a habit for the Israelites in the wilderness. God provided food and water for them daily. He gave them victory against their enemies and a miraculous delivery from slavery in Egypt. The Bible even says their shoes did not wear out! Yet they doubted God’s goodness and choose to complain. As you can see by the passage, God wasn’t too pleased with their lack of trust. Only Joshua and Caleb had faith in God’s provision for the Promised Land.
It’s easy to complain about people or circumstances. Have you ever viewed your complaining and whining as a lack of trust in God’s provision? How would your life be different right now if you changed your grumbling into gratitude for God? Take a moment to thank Him for what He has done and will do. Granted, life in the wilderness wasn’t Pleasure Island, but it wasn’t slavery in Egypt either. Your life may not be the dream you always planned in your mind, but God is with you and will provide for you. Let’s keep our eyes on Him instead of our circumstances.

Prayer:
Dear Lord, you are my Provider. Thank you for taking care of my needs. Thank you for always being with me and never leaving me. I’m sorry for the times I have complained and not focused on your goodness and mercy for me. Help me to replace my complaining with thanksgiving for your blessings. Turn my eyes off my problems and on to you. In Jesus Name, Amen.

My Choices:
This week I will choose to take my eyes off of what is wrong in my life and look at what is right.
This week I will choose to replace my grumbling with gratitude.
This week I will choose to encourage my kids to see God’s blessings all around us.

This devotional is an excerpt from The Power of a Positive Mom Devotional by Karol Ladd

The Grace Challenge

2010-09-23T11:19:00.000-07:00

A little more grace toward others – that’s what I need. How about you? Here’s a positive mom devotional from Leviticus (of all places) which gives us a charge toward being more graceful toward others.

“Do not spread slanderous gossip among your people. Do not try to get ahead at the cost of your neighbor’s life, for I am the Lord. Do not nurse hatred in your heart for any of your relatives. Confront your neighbors directly so you will not be held guilty for their crimes. Never seek revenge or bear a grudge against anyone, but love your neighbor as yourself. I am the Lord.” Leviticus 19:16-18

Reflection:
With thousands of Israelites trudging through the wilderness, a plan for civility was necessary. God provided laws for dealing with people and with circumstances in the book of Leviticus. As you can plainly see, those laws of civility and decency were not always easy. If we were to employ even a few of these laws in our relationships today, we would be better for it.
As Christians, we are no longer under the rules of the Levitical law, but rather under grace. Since we are recipients of God’s glorious grace through Christ’s sacrifice for us, we ought to also shower grace on others. What does grace toward others look like? I think it looks quite a bit like the passage we read today. Guarding our mouths from gossip, forgiving, not holding grudges are all practical ways to shed God’s grace on the people around us. As moms, we can encourage our kids to reflect on the goodness of God’s grace and in turn show His beautiful grace to other people.

Personal Prayer:
God of Grace and Mercy, thank you for pouring your grace on me through the sacrifice of your Son. Praise you that through faith in Jesus, I am forgiven. Help me to forgive others. Guard my mouth from gossip and my heart from grudges. Pour your love through me and allow me to truly love my neighbor. Thank you for your Word and the direction it gives. In Jesus name, Amen.

Choices:
This week I will choose to focus on God’s great love and grace toward me.
This week I will choose to show grace toward others.
This week I will choose to ask God’s help in guarding my heart and mind.

National Day of Encouragement

2010-09-11T14:08:00.000-07:00

Sunday, September 12 is National Day of Encouragement!

Everyone could use a hearty dose of encouragement. Kids coming home from school need it. Busy moms and dads could certainly be strengthened by it. Even grandparents and single adults need a good word now and then. The word “encourage” means to give strength. The root word “cor” comes from the Latin word “heart.” When we sincerely encourage someone we give strength to their heart, and we ourselves are uplifted in the process.

Encouragement must be sincere and specific. Don’t just say, “You’re great!” Instead, honor others by telling them exactly what you appreciate about them. “You are always thinking of others, I really like that about you.” Even more specifically you could say, “I noticed your kindness to the person in the checkout line today, I really appreciate the way you care about other people’s needs.”

Here are some starters:
· You sure know a lot about...
· I’m thankful for the way you…
· I noticed how you…
· Thank you for …..
· You amaze me by the way you….
· I was just thinking how you…

Creative ways to encourage (beyond text and email) include:
· Use erasable markers to write a message on someone’s mirror or window.
· Place fun, colorful note cards with an uplifting message in the car or lunch bag or briefcase.
· Wrap a note of encouragement around a favorite candy bar.
· One flower with a note attached does wonders for any woman.
· Write a note and stick it on a balloon.
· Take the time to send a card through the mail.
· Pick up the phone and call someone just to encourage them.
· Leave a message of encouragement on the answering machine if they are not there.
· Put a little note of encouragement in a small box, with a bow on top.
· Give a cute and inexpensive frame and put a message along with a picture in it.

Never miss an opportunity to give a good word. And Certainly don’t miss your opportunity to celebrate the National Day of Encouragement. A good word cost so little, yet the rewards are long lasting.

I Will Help You

2010-09-06T14:59:00.001-07:00

“Without the assistance of the Divine Being… I cannot succeed. With that assistance, I cannot fail.” Abraham Lincoln

Exodus 4:10 – 12
But Moses pleaded with the Lord, “O Lord, I ‘m just not a good speaker. I never have been, and I’m not now, even after you have spoken to me. I’m clumsy with words.”
“Who makes mouths?” The Lord asked him, “Who makes people so they can speak or not speak, hear or not hear, see or not see? Is it not I, the Lord? Now go, and do as I have told you. I will help you speak well, and I will tell you what to say.”

Mom’s Reflection:
Like Moses, it’s so easy for us to focus on what we can’t do, or perhaps don’t want to do. Those negatives can grow into large mountains of cares, concern and confinement. We build our own prison with the bars of “I can’t.” For moms, the can’ts come easily. I can’t cope with the kids, I can’t teach them well, I can’t get it all done, and the list goes on and on. What is God calling you to do? He will help you.
A friend of mine always says, “Where God guides, He provides.” Moses needed to heed those words instead of focusing on what he couldn’t do. We need to hear God’s voice saying to us, “You may not be able to do it on your own, but I made you. I know what you need and I can help you.” Whenever you are tempted to think, “I just can’t do it,” remember that as God leads you, He will give you what you need. He made you, and He is able to equip you for the job.

Prayer:
Oh Glorious Lord, you have called me to be a mother. You have given me a monumental and magnificent job, but I can’t do it alone. I don’t have what it takes, but I do know that you made me and you can equip me for the job. Help me to replace my “I can’ts” with “but God can.” I want to follow you and only do what you are calling me to do in your strength. Thank you for creating me and caring for me. May my life glorify you. In Jesus name, Amen.

Bailey
My Choices:
This week I will choose to focus on what God can do, not what I can’t do.
This week I will choose to seek God’s leadership and guidance.
This week I will choose to ask Him for help in all the tasks that I do.
Further Reading: Exodus 3 & 4

Open Your Eyes

2010-08-30T11:27:00.000-07:00

“All things were created by Him and for Him. He is before all things and by Him all things hold together.” Colossians 1

This weekend I was on the west coast of California and what a blessing it was! I had the privilege of seeing spectacular sights. The Monterey Bay Aquarium was the highlight, displaying a fantastic array of God’s beautiful handiwork.

On a drive up the coast I saw the sea lions and otters and a fantastic view of the coastline which I will never forget. When I observe God’s marvelous creation, I can’t help but praise Him for His wisdom and variety in creation. Open your eyes to the beauty all around you and allow it to point you to our glorious God. Recognize His power, creativity and wisdom, and thank Him that He loves you and wants to relate to you.

He is our creator. Each of us has been given unique and different qualities. Thank the Lord for the wonderful way He made you and the variety in all creation.

Created in His Image

2010-08-22T11:55:00.000-07:00

“What we believe about God is the most important thing about us.” A.W. Tozer

Genesis 1:27, - 31 “So God created people in his own image; God patterned them after himself; male and female he created them. God blessed them and told them, ‘Multiply and fill the earth and subdue it. Be masters over the fish and birds and all the animals.’ And God said, ‘Look! I have given you the seed-bearing plants throughout the earth and all the fruit trees for your food. I have given all the grasses and other green plants to the animals and birds for their food.’ And so it was. Then God looked over all he had made, and he saw that it was excellent in every way.”

Mom’s Reflection:
Amazing! “God created people in his own image,” and His creation was “excellent in every way.” The power of these truths can have a tremendous impact in our lives and in the lives of our children. He is our creator and He chose to make us in His Image. Perhaps you don’t feel so God-like all the time. Me neither! Created in His image doesn’t mean we are exactly like him (which is quite obvious), but it means we are a reflection of his character. We can reason. We can show love, patience, kindness, and forgiveness. We have a soul, which sets us apart from the rest of creation.
When we are tempted to think, “I just don’t have what it takes to be a good mom,” or “God must have made a mistake when He made me,” we can rest in the assurance that God has created us and did so in an excellent way. Our worth is based on the fact that we are made in God’s image. Knowing that we bear God’s image gives us a positive view of ourselves and of others. Let us not criticize what God has made, but rather rejoice in his creation knowing that He makes no mistakes.

Prayer:
Glorious Creator, marvelous Father, thank you for the way you created each and every one of us. Thank you for caring so much about mankind that you formed us in your image. I rejoice in your excellent creation. Help my kids to begin the grasp the fact that you created them, and they are a reflection of your image. May they be assured that they are created in an excellent way for your glory. In Jesus name, Amen.

My Choices:
This week I will choose to rejoice in the fact that I am created in His image.
This week I will choose to encourage my children to know that they are made by God in an excellent way.
This week I will choose to enjoy every person in my path as a unique creation of God.
Further Reading: Genesis 1 - 3

This week's blog is an excerpt from my book The Power of a Positive Mom Devotional (Howard Books, a division of Simon & Schuster)

Back to School

2010-08-16T07:29:00.000-07:00

"Never regard study as a duty, but as the enviable opportunity to learn to know the liberating influence of beauty in the realm of the spirit for your own personal joy and to the profit of the community to which your later work belongs." Albert Einstein

As the beginning of school approaches, we want to help our kids approach it with enthusiasm and an attitude of expectation. This week focus on the preparation and anticipation of learning. Here's the last of my summer theme weeks. I hope you have enjoyed them.

Activities: Shop for school supplies, school clothes, locker supplies, get haircuts, get together with friends to play, visit your new classroom if you are able, prepare homework stations in the house, shop for lunches and lunch bags.

Books:
Morris Goes to School by Bernard Wiseman
The Magic School Bus Series, by various authors
It'S Back To School We Go! by Ellen B. Jackson

Crafts: Decorate notebooks, tennis shoes, school bags, make pencil holders for homework work stations, draw a picture to give to the teacher for the first day of school, put together school supplies for children in need.

Devotional: This week focus on praying for the coming school year. The Bible tells us to be anxious about nothing, but to pray about everything. Here is your opportunity to instill a heart of prayer as you prepare for the year.

Monday: Thank the Lord for the opportunity to learn and grow. Thank Him for your teachers and for the class in which He has placed you, and the new friends to be made.
Tuesday: Pray for the teachers at the school and all around the world, as the prepare to teach.
Wednesday: Pray for the principal and administrators and lunch room ladies and janitors.
Thursday: Pray God's blessing on the school year and that you will grow and learn.
Friday: Pray for new friendships and reaching out to new students.

Blessings to you as you prepare and encouarage the kids excitement with your own positive attitude.

Unrushed Week

2010-08-09T17:00:00.000-07:00

A walk is a wonderful way to see your world. All too often we are going, going, going at a running pace, and we miss so much of the beauty around us. With the start of school around the corner, life tends to roll at an even faster pace, so my suggestion for a theme week this week is some wholesome and deliberate slowness. Yes, quiet, unrushed and relaxed time is the intention for this week. Our kids can benefit from stepping back, being quiet and not filling every waking moment with busy activities. Most importantly, when we create space to be quiet and creative, we also open up opportunity to listen to our Creator’s voice.

Activities: Take a walk, ride bikes, take a nap, play in the sprinklers, build a fort with sheets covering the kitchen table and just hand out there, play house, read, watch a few videos, look at clouds, look through a magnifying glass and a telescope to see more of the beauty in creation.
Books:
The Quiet Book by Deborah Underwood and Renata Liwska
The Very Quiet Cricket by Eric Carle
Glimpses of an Invisible God for Teens: Quiet Reflections to Refresh and Restore Your Soul by Vicki J. Kuyper
101 Relaxation Games for Children: Finding a Little Peace and Quiet In Between by Allison Bart

Crafts: Begin with a blank paper. Draw, paint, create using crayons, colored pencils or pastels. Use foil to make foil figures. Play with play dough.
Devotional:
Monday – Be still and Know that He is God. Psalm 46:10
Tuesday - Meditate and dwell on God’s word. Psalm 119
Wednesday – He leads us by peaceful streams and green meadow. Psalm 23
Thursday – Be quick to hear, slow to speak and slow to wrath. James 1:19 – 21
Friday – Seek first the kingdom of God. Matthew 6:25-34

“How rare it is to find a soul quiet enough to hear God speak!” Francois Fenelon

Compassion and Kindness week

2010-08-01T19:21:00.000-07:00

“The one sure means of dealing with boredom is to care for someone else, to do something kind and good.” T. Haecker

This week I want to encourage you to focus on stepping up and reaching out in order to show kindness to others. Compassion takes intentional thought and deliberate steps of action, and we want to teach it to our kids at an early age. The summer offers a wonderful time to encourage kindness in your kid’s hearts and help them to understand the joy of serving others. Here are some activities, books, crafts and devotionals to make it a tremendous week.

Activities: Bring toys to kids at a children’s hospital, read books to the elderly at a nursing home, volunteer at a Special Olympics event, bring cookies to a neighbor, write letters to military men and women, clean up trash at a local park, visit a homeless shelter, contact your church to find out some of the parishioners needs, have a garage sale to raise money for a charity, volunteer at a local food bank, surprise someone in need with an anonymous gift.

Books:
A Little Book of Manners: Courtesy & Kindness for Young Ladies by Emilie Barnes, Anne Christian Buchanan, and Michal Sparks
The Kindness Curriculum: Introducing Young Children to Loving Values by Judith Rice
Jesus Teaches Me Kindness (An Arch Books Series) by Inspirational Press

Also, visit http://www.kelsiskindheart.com/ to read about a wonderful girl who served others during her precious, brief life here on earth. You’ll find even more ideas on how to show compassion and kindness at her site.

Crafts: Decorate paper lunch bags and pack lunches to hand out to the homeless, draw pictures to hand out at nursing homes or children’s hospital, bake cookies or decorate cup cakes to give away, help someone paint a room in their house, make cards to send to service men and women, cook a meal for someone in need, decorate aprons to give to the school lunch ladies, create a photo album to send to grandparents and make their day.

Devotional:
Monday: God is kind and gracious. Psalm 103
Tuesday: What does true love look like? I Corinthians 13
Wednesday: Christ was our example of serving. Philippians 2
Thursday: If you want to be great in God’s kingdom, learn to serve. Mark 10:44
Friday: Clothe yourself with kindness and compassion. Colossians 3:12-14

Creative Kitchen

2010-07-26T07:03:00.000-07:00

Here’s a theme week that I know the whole family will eat up! This week make your kitchen into a creative fun zone and encourage your kids to learn about measuring, baking and blending together. The ABCD’s to making this a delightful week of cooking are:

Activities: Visit a bakery and ask for a tour, invite friends to come over to make and/or decorate cup cakes, go to the library to pick out recipe books together, make a trip to half price books to buy a few fun cookbooks, grocery shop together with your list of ingredients for the week, go to the dollar store to look for fun kitchen items (aprons, mixing spoons, colorful bowls), decorate the dinner table in fun new ways using flowers, homemade placemats, hats, lights, or pictures to name a few.

Books:
Mom and Me Cookbook by Annabel Karmel
The Everything Kids Cookbook by Sandra K. Nissenberg
Southern Living Kids Cookbook by Elizabeth Taliaferro
Snack Attack! (Teachable Moments Cookbooks for Kids) by Brenda Ward and Jane Jarrell

Crafts:
Cook fun recipes you discovered together in some of the cookbooks, or choose from some of the following ideas:
Cupcakes
Pizza
Play dough
Lemonade
Trail Mix
Cookie Cutter Cookies
Homemade Ice Cream
Lasagna
King Ranch Casserole
Tacos
Bread
Muffins

Devotions:
Exodus 16:31 God provides Manna
Ezekiel 4:9 Recipe for bread
Matthew 4:4 Man does not live by bread alone
Matthew 6:11 Give us this day our daily bread
John 6:35 Jesus declared, “I am the Bread of Life.”

Hope you have a delicious week!

Smart Art

2010-07-12T08:14:00.000-07:00

“Art as far as it is able, follows nature, as a pupil imitates his master; thus your art must be, as it were, God’s grandchild.” Dante – Inferno

As we continue our series of Summer Fun Themes, we will focus this week on Smart Art. Several years ago my daughter Grace started an after-school art program called Waco Arts Initiative, and I thought we would glean some insight from her. I asked Grace to give me a few ideas she has used with her kids in Waco, so I could share them with you. Grace likes to use recycled or natural items as much as possible. You will see that the art projects don’t cost a lot of money and use good ole creative ingenuity. You can read about Waco Arts Initiative on her blog, http://www.wacoartsinitiative.blogger.com/ and also view a video about Waco Arts at: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_aevUEBSaCQ

Activities: Visit art museum or art galleries in your area, go on a trash hunt or nature walk to collect potential items to use for the art projects listed below, visit an art store for inspiration and a few supplies, reach out to the community by bringing a simple art project to do with senior citizens or children in need, watch Waco Arts Initiative video together as a family, send art creations to grandparents or relatives.

Books: Art appreciate books, picture books that feature different artists or a variety of art genres.

Crafts:
1. Planters. Collect milk or juice cartons. Use wallpaper paste and news paper to paper mache the exterior. Once dry, decorate with paint, feathers, sequins, buttons, etc… Poke a hole in the bottom for drainage. Fill with dirt and plant seeds.

2. Vases. Collect glass jars or bottles. Using glue to attach torn pieces of colorful tissue paper. After covering the glass with tissue paper, spray or paint the jar with Mod Podge or clear finish. Display flowers from your garden.

3. Bird Houses. Gather recycled items such as plastic bottles, milk cartons and cups. Use masking tape to attach items together to create a unique bird house. Be sure to make at least one hole for the bird, and add a hook for hanging. Use wallpaper paste and newspapers to paper mache the houses. Once dry, paint and decorate and hang outside. You can view another video of the Waco arts kids making birdhouses by clicking: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oifjpdecgII

4. Sail Boat. Use 2 liter soda bottles, cut in half lengthwise. Glue popsicle sticks to make a deck. Paint or decorate the deck. You can make a sail by using a stick from the yard or cardboard tube cut from a hanger, secure the mast using putty or glue. Use scrap material for the sail. Once you are finished, take the boat to the pool or creek to see if it is sea-worthy.

5. Decorated Boxes. Collect small wooden cigar boxes or cardboard boxes (even food boxes will do). Cut or tear out favorite pictures from magazines. Using Mod Podge (found at craft stores)and attach the pictures to cover the box. Allow time to dry. Line the inside with fabric and use for special treasures or give to grandma as a jewelry box.

Devotional:
This week focus on the creativity of God and how He has given each of us with unique gifts and talents. Throughout the week point out God’s handiwork in nature and the unique talents you see in people.
Creation – Genesis 1
Work of skilled craftsmen in OT Exodus 28 and Exodus 35:30-35
Gifts and talents of the Proverbs 31 woman – Proverbs 31: 10-31

Books, Glorious Books!

2010-07-07T08:15:00.000-07:00

“A good book is the best of friends, the same today and forever.” Tupper

Never underestimate the power of a book to inspire and encourage a young reader. Books help us develop our imagination and create new ideas. Biographies and stories of great heroes, strengthen our own courage. We can learn how to do things, go places and accomplish new skills all through the blessing of books. This week’s theme of “Books Glorious Books” offers innovative indoor fun while encouraging a love for reading. Use this week as an opportunity to talk about how we must be discerning and wise in what we read and put into our minds. Not every book is a good book. Let us lead our kids to discover the joy of reading and the beauty of gaining wisdom and knowledge through good literature.

Activities: Create and act out dramas from your favorite books, dress up like different storybook characters each day, go to the library, visit a bookstore, visit a printer/binder and ask for a brief tour, study the life of a great author, research to see if there are any authors in your area, interview grandparents about their favorite books when they were growing up. Most importantly read, read, read.

Books: Allow the kids to choose their favorite books this week whether at the library or a book store. I would suggest a trip to a discount or half-price bookstore. Give each child a certain amount to spend (or allow them to earn it through chores) and give them the opportunity to purchase their own favorite book(s) to cherish and keep.

Craft: Encourage each of your children to write and create their own book. Provide blank paper and markers. Each day add a little bit more to the story. Allow younger ones to draw while you help them write the words. At the end of the week bind the story together and have a reading hour for each child to share their story.

Devotional: This week center on the Best Book Ever Written – the Bible.
Mon – Psalm 119:105 – God’s word is a lamp to our feet, a light for our path.
Tues – Isaiah 40:8 – The word of God will stand for ever.
Wed – Joshua 1:8 – Meditate on the Bible continually
Thurs – 2Timothy 3:16 – the Bible is important for teaching us how to live.
Fri – 2Peter 1:20,21 – The Bible is the inspired word of God.

“The Bible is one of the greatest blessings bestowed by God on the children of men. It has God for its author; salvation for its end, and truth without any mixture for its matter. It is all pure, all sincere; nothing too much; nothing wanting.” Locke

Be sure to check out my Thrive blog about my trip to Joni and Friends. www.thrivedontsimplysurvive.wordpress.com

Wacky Water Week

2010-06-28T10:48:00.000-07:00

It’s steamy and hot here in Texas! No matter where you live, I want to give you some help on beating the heat with wild and wacky water ideas to use for another fun-filled theme week with the kids. If you have been following our theme weeks then you know that I am offering ideas focusing on one theme idea per week with your kids. I give the ABCD tips for making it a memorable week (A –activities, B – books, C – crafts, D – devotional). Let’s jump right into Wacky Water Week, as I’m sure it will be a big splash for the kids.

Activities: Play in yard sprinklers, go to local pool or lake or beach, fountain hop (more and more cities are offering fountains that kids can play in - search online for several near you), visit a water park, go to a local aquarium, get new pool floats for your own pool, water gun or spray bottle play.

Books: Make Way for Ducklings, Time of Wonder both by Robert McCloskey. I Wish I had Duck Feet, One Fish Two Fish…both by Dr. Seuss, The Very Funny Frog, by Jack Tickle, Corduroy Goes to the Beach by Freeman, McCue. Ocean World by Discovery Kids.

Crafts: Paint Plastic Water glasses. Create water color paintings of the ocean. Make music with jars filled with different levels of water, use food coloring to color the water and watch it dissipate. Add oil to a jar of colored water, place secure lid on top and shake to show separation of water and oil. Play Sink or Float with items around the house. Try to guess what will sink and what will float.

Devotionals:
Day one: God Created the bodies of Water, Genesis 1:6-23
Day two: Parting of the Red Sea, Exodus 13 & 14
Day three: Elijah and the floating axhead, II Kings 6:1-7
Day four: Jesus calms the wind and the sea, Matthew 8:23 – 27
Day five: Jesus offers Living Water, John 4:1-26

Be sure to read my Thrive Blog http://www.thrivedontsimplysurvive.wordpress.com/
about being ready for Christ’s return. You’ll appreciate Rev 22:17 which says, “ 17The Spirit and the bride say, "Come!" And let him who hears say, "Come!" Whoever is thirsty, let him come; and whoever wishes, let him take the free gift of the water of life.”

Have a great week! Next week is Prince and Princess week.

Tree-mendous Nature Themes

2010-06-21T09:11:00.000-07:00

“Nature is a volume of which God is the author.” - Harvey

Summer runs with a smooth flow if you add a few theme weeks to your family’s summer program. A “theme week” is a concept I started when my kids were young in focusing on one particular area of interest for the entire week by choosing activities, books, crafts and even devotionals that center on the theme. Today I want to offer ideas centering on nature as a theme. Now nature can encompass a wide range of creatures and creation, so use it as an opportunity to teach about God’s mighty handiwork. I’ll give you a several ideas to help you get started, but certainly you have room to add to it as I recognize the expanse of the topic on nature. You may even want to turn these daily themes into weekly themes for the summer.

Day One: Bugging Out
Activities – Make or buy bug catchers and go on a bug hunt, visit local natural history museum or university, rent a bug movie, chase fireflies in the evening, look at bugs through a magnifying glass.
Books - The Grouchy Ladybug, The Very Quiet Cricket both by Eric Carle, Ms. Spider series by David Kirk.
Crafts – Create your own antennae using a headband and pipe cleaners, make tissue paper butterflies, make and decorate bug catchers using plastic jars and netting.
Devotional – Consider the Ant, Proverbs 6:6-11

Day Two: Flower Power
Activities – visit a garden or nursery or arboretum in the area. Purchase seeds and plant a small garden or plant flowers in a pot.
Books – Planting a Rainbow by Lois Ehlert, My Backyard Garden by Carol Lerner
Craft – Paint and decorate flower pots and visors, make tissue paper flowers, color or water paint pictures of a garden, make ice cream treats with ice cream in clay pots, use chocolate cookie crumbles for the dirt and put a plastic flower on top. Add a gummy worm for effect!
Devotional – The Four Soils. Mark 4:1-20

Day Three: Super Skies
Activities – Visit planetarium, lay down outside and cloud watch talking about the different shapes that you see, star gaze at night, look through a telescope.
Books – The Cloud Book, by Tomie de Paola, It Couldn't Just Happen: Fascinating Facts About God's World by Larry Richards.
Crafts – Make drawings of both the day sky and the night sky. Use glitter for stars on the night scene and clouds for the day.
Devotional – Creation Genesis 1:14 – 19, The Heavens Declare the Glory of God. Psalm 19

Day Four: Amazing Animals
Activities - Visit the zoo, local farm, doggy park, rent or go to movies about animals, dress up like animals using face paint and making ears using felt and headbands.
Books – Anamalia, by Graeme Base, Animals Born Alive and Well, by Ruth Heller.
Crafts – Make animals out of clay or foil or recycled items. Bake and decorate animal shaped cookies. Draw pictures of the zoo and Noah’s Ark. Put together photo album of animal pictures from magazine or from the zoo.
Devotional – Creation Genesis 1:20 – 25, Noah’s ark Genesis 6,7

Day Five: Tremendous Trees
Activities – Take a hike through a forest, visit a wooded area and do bark rubbings, collect leaves, plant a tree.
Books – The Legend of the Three Trees, by Angela Elwell Hunt and Tim Jonke, The Giving Tree, by Shel Silverstein.
Crafts – Create tree bark rubbings by holding paper on the side of a tree and rubbing with a crayon to get the impression (collect several and compare different barks), draw a forest, make a collage from items collected on your hike, preserve leaves between wax paper or clear contact paper, write a poem about trees.
Devotional – All of creation sings God’s praises Psalm 96:11-12

Well I hope these ideas sparked your thinking and gave you some fun ideas to do with the kids this week. May the Lord bless you as you celebrate His creation. Be sure to add your own book suggestions in the comment area. Next week is Water Week and I’ll give you some fun and easy ideas to do with the kids all focusing on the theme of water. Be sure to check out my Thrive blog at http://www.thrivedontsimplysurvive.com/ for some thoughts from this past weekend.

Terrific Travel Tips

2010-06-14T10:26:00.000-07:00

"Good company in a journey makes the way to seem the shorter." Izaak Walton

Yes, I promised travel tips last week, but then again I wanted to share with you just a little about our daughter’s wedding. Now we are back on track, and I know for most of you summer is already in full swing, so let’s talk travel. As you consider a summer family vacation here are several important tips to make it a great family time together.

Pre-prep for Success: Vacation Preparation is everything! For a memorable trip, begin preparing the kids beforehand for what they can expect or which family members they may be meeting. Together, you can look up on line some of the possible activities to do while you are at your destination. Talk about the importance of being flexible as weather or other circumstances may change even your most perfectly laid out plans. Buy tickets on line to save you the hassle and time once you get there. Check out comments from other families and make sure you are planning age-appropriate activities. Recently I was at the Tulsa zoo and saw a mom, dad and grandma all pulling their little bitty toddler along in a red wagon. It was obvious that the young thing had no interest at all in the animals, despite the fact that the family kept pointing and saying , “Look at the animals.” He was just too young, and definitely too hot and tired to enjoy the experience, which leads me to my next point.

Schedule for Enjoyment: You know your kids and you know what they can typically handle. Please don’t overload your little ones by trying to fit way too many activities in a day. They are already going to be on over-stimulated by the new environment, so don’t overwhelm them with too much to do. A good schedule for younger kids usually includes getting up and getting out early, a time to eat lunch and rest (or nap) then another late afternoon activity and dinner. For older kids, you may want to let them sleep a little longer and enjoy a mid morning brunch, then a full day of afternoon activities and sight-seeing. Plan out your days as much as possible ahead of time making your schedule work for your family’s needs, but always remain flexible. Teaching your kids to be flexible and adjust to new situations is a quality they need to learn for life, and they learn it as they watch your example on vacations. Schedules should not rule your vacation, they are simply a guideline to help you work through your day.

Throw out Complaining: Make one clear rule before the trip even starts, “No whining or Complaining allowed.” Now mom, you set the tone by guarding your own mouth, but also have a talk with the kids telling them how whining and complaining can be quite draining not only to the rest of the family but to the whiner himself. The energy used for complaining can always be better used toward choosing to enjoy an activity or work through a difficulty. We are happier people when we stop whining, and change our focus to something good about the situation. On one trip I had my daughters memorize the apostle Paul’s words in Philippians, “I have learned to be content no matter what the circumstances.”

Give Goodies: A goody bag became a fun and expected item on Ladd family trips. I took great joy in putting together a fun little tote bag of games and snacks to keep the girls occupied while we traveled in the car or by plane. They even served to be helpful as we waited at restaurants. A quick trip to Walmart or the Dollar store will help you fill a bag with healthy snacks, water, markers, note pads, small books, pocket sized games, chewing gum, activity books, little toys, magazines, you name it! I built the anticipation by waiting until we got in the car or boarded the plane to give the kids their bags. They loved it, and it sure made travel much more enjoyable.

Bring books: You are never bored when you have books. My mom used to read to us on long car rides and it made the time go by so much faster for both her and us kids. I suggest you go to Half Price book store and pick out a few books that will suit your family. You may even want to bring a fiction book to read as a family on the trip such as Chronicles of Narnia. Books on CD offer another good idea for car or headphones. Yes, I would bring a few DVD’s along on the trip, but don’t neglect the value of inspiring your kids to read.

Writing on Return: Coming home from a trip can sometimes be a bit of a downer, but you can make it fun by taking time to reflect on the trip. I used to take a blank journal on each trip, and we put pictures in it and wrote reflections in the journal on the way home. Our favorite memories about the trip as well as funny things that happened along the way made good entries into the journal. We also added tickets stubs and brochures. You can even write a family poem about the trip allowing everyone to share in the creative process. Ask everyone to make a drawing or sketch of their favorite part of the trip. Years later it is a joy to pull out a journal and reflect on a memory.

Hopefully some of these travel tips will assist you in experiencing wonderful and memorable family vacations. For the next few weeks I will be sharing Theme Ideas to use week by week to make your summer a blast!!! Also, you may want to visit my other blog to read about “Flowers that Fade, but the Word of God Stands Forever.” http://www.thrivedontsimplysurvive.wordpress.com/

Life Lessons from the Mother of the Bride

2010-06-08T10:12:00.000-07:00

Yes, my daughter Joy was married this past Saturday, and it was a glorious celebration! Adam and Joy are tremendous young people who want to honor God in all they do. It was beautiful event, and everyone seemed to have a fun and memorable time.

In the days following the wedding, I have reflected on the memorable moments of the ceremony and the reception. I thought about how happy I was to see everyone else so very happy, most importantly the bride and the groom. To tell you honestly throughout the entire planning and celebration I was continually filled with peace and joy. As I considered the specific reasons why I never felt frazzled it occurred to me they may be worth sharing with others, because they not only apply to the Mother of the Bride but to life in general. So here are a few life lessons learned from the Mother of the Bride:

1. Focus on what really matters. In a wedding, what really matters is honoring the bride and groom and making it a wonderful experience for the guests. It is not about showing the world what a great event-planner I am. Also, it is important to continually keep in mind that the marriage is more important than the wedding. In life we must always readjust our focus in order to remember it is not about me, it is about honoring God and serving others. We must continually and deliberately turn our focus to the bigger picture of eternity and fix our eyes on Jesus.
2. Fret not about gossipers and complainers. “What will others think?” ought to be four little words that are banned from your brain as you plan a wedding. Remember, you will never be able to please everyone. Someone who enjoys gossiping and complaining will still do it no matter how perfect or traditional or expensive your wedding is, so don’t try to please them. This is your daughter’s wedding, not theirs. Generally speaking we ought to always live to please one person and that is God. He wants us to love Him and love others. He does not call us to live our lives with the goal to impress others.
3. Enjoy the moment. The wedding goes by so fast. Before you know it the couple is preparing to run through the gauntlet of rice, birdseed or bubbles and drive away. During the entire event I encourage you to set worrying aside, be flexible and enjoy the people and the festivities. Live in the moment! Embrace it! Similarly, choose to enjoy the place in which God has placed you and the people He has brought into your life. Why waste time complaining and arguing? It all goes by so quickly.
4. Put the right people in place. We prayerfully and carefully selected the florist, photographer, DJ, printer, cake lady and wedding coordinator. They all did their jobs incredibly well and made the event a great success (email me if you want their names and numbers). It makes all the difference when you have people in place who do their jobs well. In life we must recognize we can’t do everything, but we can associate and connect with others who are talented in specific areas where we are weak. Be wise and prayerful as you bring others on board to help you do what you cannot do on your own. We need each other and most importantly we need the Lord. Where we are weak, He is strong.
5. Love. That’s what a wedding is celebrating anyway. Love your guests, love your family members (even the annoying ones) and also extend God’s love to the wait staff and people who are working with you. There is great joy when we sincerely reach out and love those around us with a kind word, a warm smile and a helping hand. Love is patient and kind, it does not envy or boast, it is not proud or rude. It is not easily angered…love never fails. The wedding event will be a success if you extend love and kindness to all. Equally, you will experience joy in life as you reach out and choose to love the people around you.

Well, that’s my top five lessons learned as we went through the wedding process. I hope you found them helpful. One last thing I must mention, I can testify to the fact that when you pray and give your cares to God, He will give you a peace that passes all understanding. Every time I felt even a twinge of fear or worry, I gave it to God and sought His direction (with thanksgiving) and I want you to know He is faithful! Joy and I decided that every Wednesday leading up to the wedding would be “Wedding Wednesday Prayer Night,” so on Wednesday’s we got on our knees together and gave every aspect of the wedding to Him. Remember to cast your cares on Him for He cares for you!

Sizzling Summer Fun!

2010-05-29T16:28:00.000-07:00

It’s Here! Summer is upon us and is a wonderful time to build meaningful family memories. I want to use the Positive Moms blog to give you fun family tips to make it a tremendous time with the kids. Summer typically means a change in schedule and routine. It means hot days and more family togetherness. It also means some possible family vacations. Let’s make it great for everyone involved including you!

I like to begin summer with a bang to help the kids get excited about the possibilities as well as some of the different routine and rules that may need to be in place. After school officially lets out, plan a pancake breakfast to celebrate the new summer schedule. Allow the kids to see your excitement for the potential that summer holds for you as a family. Here are some of the topics I suggest you discuss over pancakes.

Summer Schedule – make a poster board with a general daily schedule. Include how much computer and television time is allowed. Talk about places you want to go and things you want to see during the summer. For younger kids, include a time each day to just lay low. I called it FOB (flat on back or flat on bunk) and it was a time for everyone just to stay on their bed to read, listen to music, rest and think. We all need down time, especially mom, and it helps to write it into the daily routine.

Boredom Busters – Tell the kids that the word “bored” is banned from your family. Boredom is only experienced by people who are not using their creative talents to think of something to do. And there is always something to do. Each summer we created a Boredom Buster can (a coffee can wrapped with construction paper)and inside the can we placed index cards on which we wrote ideas of things we could do when we felt the B-word (boredom) coming on. If ever anyone felt bored, they could go to the can and pick out one of the possible activities. We wrote things like shoot hoops, draw pictures, call a friend, roller blade, play in the sprinklers, make a tent fort, read, etc…

Learn and Earn - Talk about saving up money to go to an amusement park or Friday movies or to the dollar stores. Determine an age-appropriate system to help your kids earn money. Teach them how to save at least 10% and give at least 10%. Help them to learn wise ways to spend their hard-earned money. Summer can also be a good time to improve on some basic math and reading skills. Make time each day for reading to the kids. Choose some books that you will enjoy listening to together as a family. I would encourage you to consider the Chronicles of Narnia or Little House on the Prairie series depending on the age of your kids. Make or purchase math flash cards or work books and set aside a little time each week to work on them together. Learn a language together using flash cards or CDs. This is a time to enjoy learning with the kids. As they catch your love for learning, they will be inspired.

Travel Tips and Theme weeks – Next week’s blog will contain wise travel tips to make the most of your family vacations. The following week we will take a look at Theme Weeks and how they can make your summer sail by. Be sure to read my Memorial Day blog at: www.Thrivedontsimplysurvive.wordpress.com

Still in the Midst

2010-05-24T09:26:00.000-07:00

“Dwell deep in the hidden life of God. The cedar grows more beneath the ground than above it.” A.B. Simpson

The month of May is an exceptionally busy time for moms. School programs, class parties, school trips, graduations, field days can all make us as frazzled and fractured as the holiday season. Now is the time to take a deep breath and deliberately step aside to have some quiet moments with just you and God. You may be thinking, What? Didn’t you just say this is the busiest time of the year? How in the world can I make time to be alone with God?

It is possible, but you have to be intentional about quiet alone time. Consider your typical routine and determine when you can have 15 – 20 minutes to just be still and know that He is God. It may look differently for each one of us. For you, it may be just after everyone is put to bed, or during nap time, or waiting in carpool line or perhaps early in the morning. Instead of doing one more thing that you think needs to get done or instead of making that phone while waiting for the kids, turn your eyes upward and quietly focus on the God who loves you.

Keep a Bible or devotional with you and take a moment to turn your cares over to God. Ask Him for strength and direction to order your days and allow Him to speak to you through His Word. Listen to God’s invitation to you to be still and know that He is God. It is amazing to me that the God of all creation encourages us to dwell and abide with Him. Here are a few quotes to remind you of how precious and important our time alone with God is to our daily lives.

“The Christian is strong or weak depending upon how closely he has cultivated the knowledge of God.” A.W. Tozer

“Live near to God and all things will appear little to you in comparison with eternal realities.” Robert Murray M’Cheyne

“Oh for closest communion with God, till soul and body – hand, face and heart- shine with divine brilliancy! But oh for a holy ignorance of our shining!” Robert Murray M’Cheyne

“The nearer we come to God, the more graciously will he reveal himself to us.” C.H. Spurgeon
Next week on the Positive Mom Blog we will begin our Summer with a Smile series filled with creative ways to make it a great summer for you and the kids.

The Power of Connection

2010-05-16T15:32:00.001-07:00

This weekend we traveled down to College Station, Texas in order to watch our youngest daughter walk across the stage to receive her diploma from Texas A&M University. Although the ceremony was a bit long (thousands graduated this weekend) it was also powerful. The loyalty and connectedness between the students of A&M is a force to be reckoned with and goes far beyond obligatory school spirit. These students are fiercely loyal to each other. They not only stick up for each other, they believe it is their duty to live a life worthy of the standards and excellence of the university. Being an A&M student is a commitment to be an Aggie for life and represent the school with honor and dignity.

This same kind of loyalty and connectedness is what the apostle Paul desired to see in the lives of believers. Notice the charge he gave the believers in Philippi: “If you have any encouragement from being united with Christ, if any comfort from his love, if any fellowship with the Spirit, if any tenderness and compassion, then make my joy complete by being like-minded, having the same love, being one in spirit and purpose.” Having the same love, one in spirit and in purpose – well that describes A&M students, but sadly I’m not so sure it describes the body of Christ.

When the speaker at graduation talked about the expectations of living a life which respectfully represents the school, I couldn’t help but think about how the apostle Paul talked about walking in a manner worthy of the gospel of Christ. Paul reminded the early believers that their citizenship was in Heaven. Now the Roman citizens of Paul’s time were expected to live up to the honors and standards of citizenship. They were supposed to promote the interests of Rome and live in a way that brought dignity to the city. Sounds like Aggies, doesn’t it? It should also sound like Christians, shouldn’t it?

Well, I suppose we could say there were a few life lessons learned from this observer of Texas A&M graduation. As fellow believers in Christ let us seek to:
· Be like-minded, having the same love, being one in spirit and in purpose.
· Walk in a manner worthy of our high-calling as believers and citizens of Heaven.

It's time we looked like people who build each other up and not tear each other down. May our focus be on serving Christ and honoring Him with all we do and say. If Aggies can do it for their school, surely we do it in honor of our loving Heavenly Father!

Three Cheers for Mom!

2010-05-09T05:44:00.001-07:00

Happy Mother's Day! May you rejoice in your high-calling as a mom. Here's a picture of me with my two daughters Grace and Joy. I'm so proud of both of them. I hope you enjoy the words of encouragement below.

Moms deserve a pat on the back and an enthusiastic word of encouragement, don’t you agree? Here are three cheers that come to mind when I consider the heart of a MOM:
1. Hurray for Humility – Humility is a rare and beautiful quality. Christ showed us the perfect picture of humility as He left his throne in Heaven and came to this earth in the form of a servant. Certainly a mom humbly serves in her home as she lovingly considers the interests and needs of her family often above her own needs. We are never so Christ-like as when we serve others in the beauty of loving humility.
2. Hurray for Compassion – Care and compassion seem to come naturally for a mom as she genuinely feels deeply with both the joys and the pains her children go through in life. She cries when they cry, she laughs when they laugh. Just as the Lord is compassionate and gracious with His children, so a mom pours out compassion and care to hers.
3. Hurray for Strength – A mom is resilient. She perseveres even when she is tired. She overcomes hurdles and lifts up her kids when they fall down. She keeps on going like the energizer bunny from morning until night. She’s a champion! May God continue to be her strength and joy for the journey ahead!
Celebrate one of God’s most precious gifts to this world - the heart of a mom.

The Gift of Applause

2010-05-03T15:03:00.000-07:00

Never underestimate the power of applause. This past weekend I was in Eugene, Oregon on business, but one little added extra blessing was that the Eugene Marathon was taking place during the time while I was there. The runners were going right by my hotel, so I strategically planned to eat breakfast at the outdoor café during the event in order to watch the runners and applaud them as they ran by my table. The president of Harvest House (my new publisher) was one of those runners, and I wanted to be sure and give him an enthusiastic cheer as he ran.

As most of the runners came along, some plodding, some jogging, and some pushing forward at a strong pace, I clapped and applauded for each one. My hands actually began to hurt from clapping for so long, but it was worth it! I saw the thankfulness in the eyes of the runners as they seemed to sincerely appreciate the encouragement along the way. Some even used what little energy they had to say thank you, and others looked to me and smiled. I could tell that the applause gave them a true sense of support and strength to keep on going. I was at mile 18, and I think they needed some encouragement about then.

It was a visual reminder to me that we all need a healthy dose of applause in our lives. Uplifting words are the delicious morsels that keep us going when we feel like we want to give up. I’m talking about sincere encouragement, not silly, fluffy flattery. The word encourage literally means to give strength to the heart. I saw how valued my applause was to weary runners this weekend, and certainly our good words are just as valued to weary travelers on the journey of life. Whether it is our kids or the neighbor next door or the lady working the cash register at the grocery store; everyone could all use a good word now and then.

Take some time and effort to offer applause to the people God places in your life today. More importantly remember to seek the applause of Heaven by drawing close to Him and intimately getting to know the God who loves you. If you want to read a few more life lessons learned in Eugene, go to my other blog at: www.thrivedontsimplysurvive.wordpress.com

The Strength of Mom

2010-04-26T08:58:00.000-07:00

It’s amazing what a mom can accomplish in one day. Getting the kids to where they need to go whether it is lessons, school or story time, and making sure they have a good breakfast and a healthy lunch in the process. Laundry, volunteering, carpool, appointments, play-dates, errands, not to mention the priceless moments of listening, caring, hugging, disciplining and helping. Phew! A mother’s job is filled with joy, but let’s be honest, it can be slightly draining at times. In a good way, it drains us of our self-centered tendencies, but in a challenging way motherhood can drain us of our physical and emotional energy.

Where does a mother go to for strength and help? Certainly we must be deliberate about taking care of ourselves physically by eating right and getting the rest we need. We can also find support emotionally through talking with a trusted friend, finding wise counsel or journaling. As believers in Christ, God invites us to come to Him for strength. The Bible talks quite a bit about finding our strength in God. Isaiah reminds us, “Those who wait upon the Lord will gain new strength.” The Psalmist said, “The Lord is my strength and my shield.” Paul said, “For Christ’s sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong.”

Paul also talked about the strength he found to be content in any and every situation, whether in plenty or in need. He said he learned the secret to being content in every situation. Here it is, “I can do everything through Christ who strengthens me.” He went on to say, “My God will meet all your needs according to His riches in glory in Christ Jesus.” Being content doesn’t mean God orchestrates everything to turn out perfectly for you. It means God will strengthen you in and through your difficulties. Lean on Him, look to Him, find your strength in Him. He loves you and will provide for you.

Never-Ending Student

2010-04-19T07:10:00.001-07:00

This week I had the privilege of going with the wonderful young moms in my connection group from church (Christy, Stephanie, Tandy, Becky – love you all) to hear John Townsend talk about setting boundaries with kids. It was a tremendous time of learning, and I highly recommend any of John’s books (www.JohnTownsend.com) and especially Boundaries with Kids if you are a parent. It’s funny, but I thought I was going to the event just to encourage and support the young moms in my group, yet oddly I walked away with a wealth of wisdom which I needed to apply to my own life and relationships as well. We never stop learning and growing!

On Saturday I went to speak to the ladies at First Baptist Lewisville and funny thing, God wanted me there so I could learn as well. I attended one of the break-out sessions mainly because I wanted to just hear what the teacher had to say on a certain misunderstood topic in scripture (mainly submission), and once again I not only walked away with a wealth of wisdom, but also a fair amount of conviction.

This morning I picked up my dad’s latest book, Your Daily Mental Vitamin (by Garry Kinder), and the entry went like this: Read and inwardly digest one book each month. Feed the mind as you feed the body. Leaders are readers and readers are leaders. I think the lesson for the week, at least for me, is never stop learning. Be intentional about growing and learning. We learn from books, from the people God places in our lives and most importantly from God’s Word.

As a mom, we want to instill this love of learning with our kids. We begin with our own example. Allow your kids to see that you still love to read, grow and learn as an adult. Every now and then, tell your kids what God is teaching you. Read, read, read. Read to your kids, sit down and read next to your kids, and joyfully talk about what you are reading and learning in life. Begin a collection of classics for your home book shelf. Half-price books is a great place to find treasures. You will find a list of classics books for your kids in my book The Power of a Positive Mom (chapter 18). Enjoy the adventure of learning, and don’t be discouraged if you still feel like you are a never-ending student. Remember that He who began a good work in you will carry it out to completion until the day of Christ Jesus.

“Knowledge and experience are the best two feet anyone can have to equip him for successful living.” John Wanamaker

The Greatest Adventure

2010-04-11T15:22:00.000-07:00

“Adventure isn't hanging on a rope off the side of a mountain. Adventure is an attitude that we must apply to the day-to-day obstacles of life - Facing new challenges, seizing new opportunities, Testing our resources against the unknown and in the process, Discovering our own unique potential.” John Amatt (mountain climber)

This past week I went on a little adventure of my own. I drove to Bartlesville, Oklahoma to speak for a Christian Women’s Club luncheon, then drove on to Coffeyville, Kansas to speak at an evening event in the beautiful Brown Estate Mansion. It was wonderful getting to know fellow sisters in Christ in these precious “villes” and it was a joy to share the powerful truths of God’s love and forgiveness through Christ Jesus.

On the way home, I decided to take an adventurous detour to visit the Tulsa Zoo. What fun! That's me riding the camel!

My long drive from Texas to Kansas and back within 24 hours could have been viewed as a burden, but I chose to see it as an adventure. It was an opportunity to make new friends, share God’s love, see new sights and enjoy God’s great creation. The point I want to make is that every day offers opportunities and adventures. The person God places in your path today is a creation of God and a treasure just waiting to be discovered. The difficult detour in your life is an opportunity to trust God and discover new skills. You can always look at a frustration or a challenge in your life from a new angle and look with anticipation for ways God can bring hope and redemption. Yes life has many opportunities for adventure through the good days and the bad.

There is one great adventure in life which is available to each and every one of us. I’m talking about the adventure of knowing Christ. The apostle Paul said, “I consider everything a loss compared to the surpassing greatness of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord….I want to know Christ and the power of his resurrection and the fellowship of sharing in his sufferings...”

There is no greater adventure than knowing Christ! Not just knowing about Him, but truly knowing Him in a vibrant relationship and as the Lord of your life. Pursuing Christ makes life meaningful, joyful and fulfilling. As we come to know Christ, we recognize we are dearly loved and we experience his strength and power in our lives each day. We can look to Him for guidance and direction. Take a step today toward the great adventure of knowing Christ, seeking His face, and drawing close in His loving arms.